Friday, December 31, 2004

Oops, forgot to pay the visa card, didn't I. That's � 25 thanks and a slap on the wrist, not to mention the redness of face when man in computer peripherals shop says "sorry, your card has been declined". Bollocks! Bollocks! Bollocks!

I then try to pay the account over the phone and reach an automated answering machine which gets as far as getting me to put loads of details in via the phone keypad and then at the last kick, decides that I will need to speak to a human. Of course the sensible humans have all fucked off home, leaving the machine to run everything. Guess I'll just have to wait a few days more.

I was going to review the year but what the hell, read the archives.

Next year's going to be better. I'm sure of this.

posted by timesnewroman at 5:57 PM  

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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Football Injury

I went to Rugby Park on Monday and saw Killie notch up their first victory in what seems like forever. Midway through the second half, there was a particularly exciting patch which ended in a brilliant shot on goal, which was so certain I leapt up from my seat only to slip and fall awkwardly and painfully. My right leg banged against the bracket holding the seat in front of me and was really sore. The lighting wasn't strong enough to have a decent look at it, but it felt wet, so I reckoned I had grazed it. Of course the sure fire goal was kept out somehow, but 3 -1 was a decent result for a change. On getting home, thewife had a close look at what turned out to be a particularly nasty gash. She reckoned it would probably need stitches and phoned the local on-call service that has a clinic, but it was really busy and would probably take hours. Likewise the local A & E Dept.

We didn't have that kind of time as we were going to Lady El's for dinner. It's a year since Manuel died and we were going to have a quiet night in with some music and food and a bucketful of drink to mark the occasion. So we cleaned and dressed the wound and got the wine together. It was a nice night, nothing solemn or mournful, just some good tunes, chat and hot gossip. I have no firm recollection of the rest of the night given that after we drank 4 bottles of wine we went on to Armagnac and Malt. Not in the same glass obviously. We sort of staggered the short journey home around 5.30 am I believe.

On waking in the early afternoon, thewife has a look at wound and decides that we are going to the A & E. Remarkably quickly dealt with, there was no lengthy wait doc had a look at it, said we should have come yesterday, it would have been easier to pull both edges of the cut togther and paper-stitch and it will also take longer to heal. I was also told to keep off my feet as much as possible which I think I can probably manage. Oh and a tetanus shot to boot.

Football! Its more important than life or death.

posted by timesnewroman at 10:30 AM  

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Sunday, December 26, 2004

Santa has indeed been good to me. Clothes and clothes and smelly stuff and a new digital camera and the computer game I have been meaning to get for a long time now, Civilization III. I've been an addict since the first one, 2 weeks of world domination loom, but its certainly more difficult than its predecessors.

It's clear I can't just spend my time in front of the computer, so the wife and I go for a cold walk with the camera. Harbourside called and that's where we went.

First up its lets try and get all arty. This is the leg of something that once sat at the harbourmouth.


Rust

The wife likes collecting what she calls driftwood. I call them logs and she has more than enough of them. Any more and she carries them and they remain outside of the house.


Mmm! thewife spys Driftwood


The harbour was full of people taking photos with new cameras. I wondered if I would catch the moon in this photo. It was beautiful big and round against a darkening sky. You can see it just to the right of the interesting Pilot House.


Pilot House and Full Moon


posted by timesnewroman at 5:24 PM  

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Thursday, December 23, 2004

Supermarket Gridlock

Went to Tesco's last night. 7.30pm., got home 9.20pm. It's not far and we didn't get the much. The place was absolutely mobbed. Apparently the shop is going to be closed for a couple of days hence the madness descends on the entire populace of Irvine who have to buy every bloody thing they have on the shelves. For convenience we bought 75% of a bag of ice cubes, well that's what was left when we got home. thewife had previously had a stressful day so I reckoned bit of consumer therapy with the promise of chocolate along the way would be ideal. Not so! By the end of ordeal it was me that was stressed, queues that wouldn't have disgraced a Polish butcher on a good day sometime in the early 80s. Good job we bought plenty if vino!



posted by timesnewroman at 7:12 AM  

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Sunday, December 19, 2004

We held our annual Woodies Christmas Night Out in the Watersports Club. Meals cooked in-house by Liz. Following last year's do which was extremely disappointing, this year the food was excellent and the Guinness, wine and spiced rum contrived to give me a major headache this morning. Nevertheless, the night itself was great, fabulous entertainment from a multi-talented Karaoke band. Actually it was a duo who played guitars, keyboard and saxophone who did a variety of popular numbers guaranteed to have folks our age dancing after a few.
The Councillor was on sparkling form, from the off reading out his Christmas Cracker joke: How many cars does Captain Kirk have? A left one a right one and a final frontier. That was with his specs on. The young folks too were a hoot.

posted by timesnewroman at 5:04 PM  

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Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Good Bloody Riddance 
posted by timesnewroman at 6:42 PM  

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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Stunning - viaduc de Millau

Built by the same company that built the Eiffel Tower this came in on budget and earlier than scheduled. Maybe the Scottish Executive should have gone to them to build the Scottish Parliament.

posted by timesnewroman at 7:28 PM  

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Time catches up

A good day for justice when Thatcher's evil bastard chum finally faces trial for mass murder and torture. They should bring back capital punishment for the finale. Eighty nine years old or not the treacherous nazi old shitebag has laughed off any attempt to make him take responsibility for crimes, including the CIA assisted overthrow of a democratically elected government and the murder of the head of state. Party on dudes!

posted by timesnewroman at 6:48 AM  

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Saturday, December 11, 2004

Its Black, I'm Back

Yowzah, Yowzah. Yowzah!

After several days, that felt like weeks, of intermittent internet connection on borrowed connections I am back. What's happened in the intervening period, much excitement and wonderful newsworthy events. Well no not much anyway. Blunkett is still an arse and features in our office nativity scene as Joseph, dressed in batman outfit with Fathers 4 Justice on the front. Steve Bell's idea really, but I am sure he won't mind. Blunkey's line is "Who's the daddy?"

thewife is in chaotic thespian mode and to make matters worse has managed to persuade me to help move scenery and stuff. I believe it's called "crewing" and is carried out dressed in black under cover of darkness. I'm wondering if David Blunkett should know about this.

Her community drama group, Stagefright, are performing Alladin this year. It's been chaos all week, I have even had to turn my hand to ironing and the like, as thewife has been out every night, returning home exhausted long after I have gone to bed. Nevertheless its all good fun, my first night on the job was fraught with fraughtness. The 2 other stagehands seemed like seasoned pros down to the exaggerated campness. There was a lot more drama going on behind the scenes than out front. They managed to miss a whole scene but like the troupers they are, went on with it anyway. Theatre was full of noisy Brownies screaming through the whole show, so they didn't mind the missing scene.

I saw the actual performance from the front last night with Mumsy and the neighbours, and a jolly good show it was too.

posted by timesnewroman at 8:57 AM  

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Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Oh fuck! To borrow an exclamation mark from Reidski. The hard drive is dead. Hence I haven't been on, or am likely to get on here much in the forseeable future. No internet, no email and I think I have probably lost a significant amount of irreplacable data, not to mention all my email addresses. Email me please folks and I'll pick it up when the new, deeper in debt me gets to play with a super new toy in a week to 10 days. Behind every cloud there is a silverish flat screen.

posted by timesnewroman at 8:26 PM  

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Sunday, November 28, 2004

Despite Killie getting stuffed by Livingston yesterday, its been a particularly enjoyable weekend so far. The cold has well subsided, and work, of a sort, has resumed. Friday was thewife's birthday and she seemed quite pleased with the smelly stuff she received. Friday was also the sate of our latest "Who wants to be a a Millionaire?" style quiz night in aid of funds for the Woodies. Not the busiest night for a while but Jim Stewart managed to squeeze the dosh out of people nonetheless. thewife was asking the questions in her best Ann Robinson impression. First of four rounds and I am doing quite well, last one in at �8,000 and I have used all my lifelines in trying to figure out who Sean Penn's current wife is. Successfully worked it out only to be stumped by the next question which was along the lines of who was the only Briton to hold the World, Olympic, European and Commonwealth record for whatever in nineteen ninety something. It was between Linford Christie, Colin Jackson, Sally Gunnel and Jonathan Edwards. Of course it was Linford Christie, but I took the money......well the points as I just wasn't sure.

Liz N is up second for us and is mortified at the fact she went out at 300 points, by misunderstanding a poorly worded question. This is very not her.

The quiz is a fun mass spectator event, with 4 rounds and four people per team. The answers are held up on cards, so there's no real opportunity for cheating except for the odd signal from colleagues in the audience. Lady El is up 3rd and is doing well, then there's a question asking which animal the term "ursine" refers to. The councillor and I are desperately trying to attract her attention to our "bearing" our chests. The man opposite is doubled up laughing as it suddenly dawns on us that Hare was also an option and its too late to do anything about it. Fortunately she opts for Bear which means we are in with a shout of winning.

We use the boardgame questions and for this one A&R have brought along the new version. Normally our quizzes last the whole evening, but we think the questions have got harder as no-one has got more than 8,000 in the four rounds, which means we are finished far earlier than expected. So we have another round and this time we let Liz N in for a another shot and damned if she doesn't get up to �500,000.

Saturday and thewife and I went out to celebrate her birthday with a meal at the Ship Inn. Bloody fabulous it was.

So the weekend is almost over and I still haven't had the chance to sample my beers for the good beer blog.

posted by timesnewroman at 10:42 AM  

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I�ve been laid low over the past few days, which made for a pretty unremarkable weekend. I developed a sore throat last Wednesday, which by Thursday had become a cold. By late Thursday afternoon colleagues were encouraging me to bugger off home before I began smiting them. To be fair I needed little encouragement, off home I went and grabbing some much needed supplies from Tesco on the way. Off to bed with some books, and a toddy, where I have pretty much remained.
I received a kind invitation to write about beer, from Alan at Gen X at 40 who has established a new good beer blog. The good bit about that is you get to drink it as well, unfortunately the blog budget doesn�t stretch to expenses, nevertheless a labour of love is reward in itself. I have lined up a few bottles, which will have to wait until the cold ebbs.

posted by timesnewroman at 9:53 AM  

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Thursday, November 18, 2004

Oh Fuck!

I am all in favour of having minorities and under-represented groups in positions of power. How come though, when it does happen, its always the wrong fucking ones?

posted by timesnewroman at 9:13 AM  

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Sunday, November 14, 2004

Nowadays I love weekends, can't wait till the come round. Its not that I have any difficulty getting up for work, I just like long lay-ins and cooking, eating and drinking. This weekend was no exception, except for the increased eating and drinking bit.

Our admin worker at work left some time ago (okay almost a year) and we had never really gotten round to a proper send off, so now we did. I'm not a great fan of Chinese food as thewife will testify (she says I have never really tasted Chinese food on account of years of vegetarianism and the lack of proper Chinese restaurants in the neighbourhood) however we went to the Jade Garden in Glasgow and had a pre theatre (2 weeks in a row) and I had Szechuan Duck which was really quite good. I had to head off early though as it was the Councillor's 50th Birthday.

The Councillor reluctantly agreed to gather with friends from near and far (London) to have a bit of a party in the Water Sports Club - Cheap Drink and they had a Scottish theme night. I cringed at thought of this but as it turned out, there was nothing more tacky than Saltires decking the place out. A nice well chosen, range of tunes by Scottish artists, some interesting snacks including haggis rolls and Vol' au Vents with haggis neeps and mash. To cap it all there was a quiz, I came 3rd equal, thewife came 2nd, more familiar than I with Hue and Cry and the number of players in a Shinty Team - 12. I was pleased when nobody at all knew where Rob Roy McGregor was buried. I didn't even know he had died. After too many pints we were ready to head home, when the Karaoke started and another pint arrived for me, so there was nothing else for it than a shot at Fire and Rain. I've done that before and I really must remember that I have no idea whatsoever how the middle eight goes.

All that and Saturday night invited round by the Councillor to try some of his myriad bottles of Malt and a quiet night of stories and songs with the Londoners.

Sunday already and preparing for the quiz. What's the chance of being asked the Capital of Surinam?

posted by timesnewroman at 2:21 PM  

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Friday, November 12, 2004

Apparently there was football played on Wednesday night. Not that I had any great interest in it, since Kilmarnock are no longer involved in the stupid first cup of the season which is ticket to nowhere anyway. This particular game involved both halves of the Old Firm, who shall remain nameless, nevertheless following extra time there was a winner, which meant that the apprentice was not in the best of moods for the entire day. Its is perhaps forunate that his team have ove the last few years not lost any of these fixtures otherwise he may have been difficult to placate.

His mood was even more pronounced following lunchtime, when he had to go into town to purchase the weekly magazine of the other team (fropm their club shop) for his son, who is a fan of the other team. He just couldn't stand to see their staff happy!



posted by timesnewroman at 6:51 AM  

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Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Fact - God Evolved from Monkeys

Where the fuck do these crazies get off? Now their election results begin to make sense. I visited one of these evangelical websites recently, for a laugh. Crazy as fuck. They had this campaign going to have the "One Nation Under God" oath of allegiance reintroduced to schools. I sent them an email suggesting that they would get support from the Catholics, Jews, Muslims etc., if they changed it just slightly to read "One nation under gods." I'm still waiting on word from them.

posted by timesnewroman at 6:40 AM  

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Saturday, November 06, 2004

thewife and I were well entertained last night. Started off with a fabulous dinner at a wee Italian bistro followed by several pints and a brilliant gig by the The Trashcan Sinatras. First time I have been in Cottiers, absolute knock out venue. Converted gothic church with lots of stained glass and ornate features, nevertheless an intimate set in an intimate setting. Frank's voice has got better and better and the band are older, better and in Paul's case balder. Fabulous night had by one and all.

posted by timesnewroman at 2:45 PM  

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Thursday, November 04, 2004

Been too busy to post. Well no the opposite actually, done nothing worth posting about and nowt much happening in the world unless you count some cruddy election where morons get to vote for an imbecile. I've decided I'm going to let it wash over me until they come knocking at my door. Just in case anyone out there is feeling a bit depressed though, I feel I have to share an email from Father Bell. Usually when you get a pile of "funnys" in an email there is the odd amusing one amongst the whole bunch. In this instance they were pretty much all involved in painful tear wrenching laughter. I was going to ration them but what the fuck, now Dubya's back who knows how long we've got.

Here you are then, the best one liners frm the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be sh*tting herself.

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but Iwas never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "Allright, but we're not going to get much done."

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face.

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it as well.

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". Thehardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".

It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little see saw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign:"This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I feel?"

posted by timesnewroman at 10:16 PM  

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Tuesday, October 26, 2004

I am much saddened. I suspect that a good many bloggers will have both admired and have been immensely influenced by the enduringly ordinary beacon of taste that was John Peel. Teenage Kicks will doubtless echo from Victrolas across the land. I remember often during my own teenage years listening regularly to his show revelling in the new sounds he would play, weird, wonderful and just a wee bit bizarre at times. Whatever did happen to the Higsons? Fare thee well then, and in answer to Jimty no I didnae ken him, I just thought I did.

posted by timesnewroman at 7:05 PM  

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Sunday, October 24, 2004

Methadone Madness No. 1

I went to my G.P. on Friday, actually I went on Thursday as well but that was the wrong day, to have my blood pressure checked. Still high, but coming down, as is the weight, half a stone in a month. He decides that I need additional medication which probably means I am going to be on this for a while. Bummer. Into the chemist next door and there�s this guy trying to blag methadone from the pharmacist. Reckons his G.P. sent the script there for collection and they don�t have it. You�d think they would just give him the stuff, don�t you,

Methadone Madness No. 2

Walking into an office for a meeting on Friday afternoon in the Gorbals. Man is walking along the middle of the road drinking his methadone oblivious to the world at large and the big car behind him furiously blowing its horn to get him to move out of the way.

Melancholia

I joined the library the other week, amazing place, they give you books and you don�t even have to pay. I got out, in hardback, The Closed Circle by Jonathan Coe. It�s the follow up to The Rotters Club only 30 years later. I can barely put it down. I�m sort of halfway through and realised that it was Manuel who recommended and loaned me The Rotters Club and he�s not going to read this and than I came over all maudlin.

What Women Want


Another one for thewife


thewife and I were watching the Saturday Kitchen on TV and they have a vote for the viewers to choose the dish they want to see cooked at the end of the show. There�s a choice between chicken a la Milanese, baked salmon with parmesan and parsley crust or Thai red vegetable curry. thewife thinks the viewers are going to go for the salmon. My theory is that a higher percentage of the viewers will be women and I reckon the choice isn�t about the food at all, rather who is making it. Judging by the way she perks up somewhat when Gino D�Acampo is announced as guest I suspect that he would be picked if he was making toast. I think it�s the accent, but it might be the looks.

Ace Ayrshire

Move over Merseybeat, Swinging London, Madchester etc. It suddenly struck me that two of the bands I am currently listening to a lot of at the moment, The Trashcan Sinatras (after a lengthy absence have a new album and tour and we are hopefully going to see them) and Biffy Clyro are both from Ayrshire and are both rather fabby. So there ye go.

Munchies

Rather pleased with Saturday night's dinner of chicken, stuffed with wild boar sausage and wrapped with wild boar ham accompanied by Jamie Oliver's purple potato salad. We'd been to the Glasgow Farmers Market.

posted by timesnewroman at 8:51 AM  

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Friday, October 22, 2004

Jack Straw

I hate the bastard! New Labour, I hate them! There is no way on earth that I will EVER bring myself to vote for them whilst the evil triumvirate of Scum Tory Bastards that are Bliar, Straw and Blunkett are in any position of power. I really can't for the life of me see any difference between them and the Tories with the posssbile exception that their Tory counterparts are ptoentially slightly more liberal.

Straws latest intervention makes me sick. Co-orporate murder of workers, yeah that's okay. Fuck off and die you sleazy bunch of dicks!

posted by timesnewroman at 6:41 AM  

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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Reidski etc.

posted by timesnewroman at 9:43 PM  

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Sunday, October 17, 2004

Heading for Baghdad

Strikes me the key reason for the request for British troops being moved to Baghdad is fairly simple. The notion of "backfilling" to enable U.S. troops to begin an assault on Fallujah, doesn't quite add up. The numbers of British troops are relatively small in comparison with the numbers the US need to move. Nope the real answer is that Dubya needs to sell the idea that Eyerack is a joint effort involving a coalition of allies to the folks back home who are fed up with the numbers of dead American kids. The way to do this is move some of the foreigners, like the Brits into the firing line and have some of their kids come home in boxes as well. Hoon, is likely to swallow it hook line and sinker!

posted by timesnewroman at 3:37 PM  

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Thursday, October 14, 2004

Boys from the blackstuff

The Blackstuff being the small series of coal bings, behind the wall in the picture. The most magical place to play as a kid. Safe (relatively) where you could play hide and seek, hares and hunts, sojers, slides down the bing in breadboards courtesy of Wonderloaf, and on and on. The boys from left to right Me, Davie Ellis still floating around town, Bobby and John Donaldson who emigrated to Canada around 1968, Tom Nicholson who I believe went to Australia to work and Derek Boles who is a Motor Mechanic following a life long fascination of the automobile in all its formats. His mother, who still works in my local newsagent once sent him aged 6, to the shops for a loaf only for him to return with a Matchbox car. The car in the picture, was a Ford Popular, the first car in our street and belonged to Tommy Ellis.

How time flies.

Nostalgia 2.

The unfortunately named Prof. Barwise has just completed a study of the BBC digital offerings and has concluded that BBC3 and BBC4 are not up to scratch. Bemoaning the lack of viewing figures for BBC4 (One of my favourite channels) because people don't want to watch concerts on telly. I have watched a good number of its archived concerts and thoroughly enjoyed them along with its excellent documentaries. We have enough Britney videos and Reality Television dominating our screens, we don't want or need more. Fuck off back to the bar Fuckwit!


posted by timesnewroman at 6:01 AM  

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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Weapons of Mass Distraction 1.

Finally the evidence is in. Saddam Hussein had nada! We knew that all along. Its just a pity that so many people had to suffer for the lies of politicians. Now the spin merchants are suggesting that he was planning to acquire them!! How fucking naive do they think we are. I'm planning to acquire millions of pounds.

Weapons of Mass Distraction 2.

With only a few weeks to go in the U.S. presidential election, how long will it be before Osama Bin Laden puts in a personal appearance? Odds at Ladbrokes anyone?

Hugh le Screw

The apprentice appears at work today with a new warm coat for the winter. On the the arms and chest are the bi-lingual logos of the Correctional Service Canada or (Service Correctionnel Canada). Its funny but, I never ever thought of Canada having Prisons.

The Canadians kind of invented Restorative Justice and I'm sure jimty will be pleased to know that Restorative Justice Week will soon be upon us. Who decides what issues are going to have "weeks"?

Farewell

To Michael Fish. Who retired tonight from weather forecasting. The unkind may well say he should have retired after reassuring people that there were no strong winds due, just before the 1987 Hurricane. We'll miss him, we all get things spectacularly wrong now and again.

Keep Out!

If the Tories are still so rabidly enthusiastic about keeping Johnny Foreigner Immigrant out, why don't they tell their leader to fuck off back to wherever he came from?

posted by timesnewroman at 9:14 PM  

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Saturday, October 02, 2004

Keep it Simple - Honesty & Genuine Sincerity in Politics -
Buck Flair!

posted by timesnewroman at 1:55 PM  

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Friday, October 01, 2004

Problem Solvng Local Authority Style

Our office building has controlled entry at several points throughout. There are workman currently refurbishing the second floor, they enter via reception and use lifts to access the area they are working in. There are vending machines in the foyer of the controlled entry which the workmen were visiting as and when a chocolate/crisp fix was required. Unfortunately, in the process, they were switching the controlled lock off from the inside, so that they could pop out and back in again, often forgetting to switch the lock back on again. As a consequence, our extremely vigilant Health and Safety Representative has rightly, been making waves.

The simple way to deal with this, would have been to issue said workman with a shared fob, to access the controlled doors.

Nope not our people! Noticed this afternoon were the otherwise extremely busy support staff hauling heavy vending machines from one area of the building to another. Must have taken half a day of their time and probably had lots of people hanging about waiting for them to do their real jobs. At the same time, the caretaker is unhappy that he now has a couple of big unsightly machines in the public access part of the building, which is likely to be a surefire magnet that attracts some of the locals to practice their thievery skills on. Nice one.

posted by timesnewroman at 6:26 PM  

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Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Time for pontificating

Right, so a few of the Countryside Alliance Pro Hunt Mob infiltrate the Labour Party conference having joined a couple of days beforehand, they were able to get tickets to see Bliar make his impassioned (just kidding) speech. Labour Party must be getting really desperate for members and people to listen to them then.

The thing that strikes me here is that only a week ago the same countryside warriors were bursting in on the House of Commons most likely with the assistance and support of their pals on the Tory benches.

Now just suppose that some Al Quieda supporting chappie had joined the Countryside Alliance a few days beforehand and had managed to infiltrate the commons along with the hooray henry spoilt little bastards? Shouldn't whoever assisted them be hauled over some particularly hot coals for having compromised the nation's security, like the poor prat from the Labour Party who was so keen to hand out visitors tickets.

posted by timesnewroman at 8:51 PM  

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Monday, September 27, 2004

Monday and the holiday break is almost over. I am quite looking forward in some ways to getting back to work. The 6.00am. rise in the morning, early nights and little or no alcohol, coupled with the need to get stuff done by ludicrously tight deadlines. I am sure you can appreciate the allure.

A brief update on the medical fronts 1 and 2.

The Shingles don't seem to have developed any further, certainly none of the pain traditionally associated with the virus. That and although a second spot looked like it might be trying to erupt, it has retreated full speed. If anything, I think I have Shingle!

I have no idea what the blood pressure is at the moment, however I have developed my very own scientifically based diet upon which I now embark. Well actually its a bit of the G.I. low carb diet, but without the rank craziness of stuffing saturated fats, a la Atkins, into one's gob as well! But with the added twist of using lots of Potassium enriched foods as long as they are low G.I. Simple really. I am hopeful that it will prove to be a staggering success and that I shall make vast fortunes from the books and the recipes and the film rights. Then of course there is the increased exercise. Got to be good for you.

Recipe No. 1 for a low fat, lowish (if you discount the sugar in the rhubarb) G.I., high in potassium and high fibre dessert.

Rhubarb Crumble.
1lb of Rhubarb washed and chopped in chunks
2 Tablespoons water
1.5 oz Sugar
1/2 Teaspoon ground ginger

Combine ingredients in a pan, bring to the boil and then simmer gently for about 10 minutes, you want the rhubarb to be a bit chunky.

When cooked drain the liquid and transfer rhubarb to an ovenproof dish.

In another bowl, mix cup of rolled oats with 1/2 cup of wheatgerm, small handful of sesame seeds and stir in a couple of tablespoons each of soya oil and honey. The mixture should be neither soggy nor dry. Feel free to experiment with nuts and all sorts of stuff.

Spread this mixture over the rhubarb and bake at 180o in a pre-heated oven for about 15 - 20 minutes until its brown and crispy on top. Serve with low fat Greek yoghurt, or high fat custard if you must!

posted by timesnewroman at 5:43 PM  

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Saturday, September 25, 2004

Kris Boyd - Sadly unavailable for my fantasy footie team

First game I have been to this season. Am I glad I went. 5-2 victory and it could/should have been more.

posted by timesnewroman at 4:40 PM  

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Friday, September 24, 2004

Varicella-Zoster Virus

It never rains but it pours

I have not been near my G.P for well over a year, until yesterday. Yesterday morning on top of everything else I had what looked like a burst plook (spot) on my forehead above my eye. This morning my eye had swollen somewhat and thewife insisted that I go back and visit the doctor again. I protest, but agree to humour her. This time I got the doctor I like. He squirts some orange dye into my eye, has a look with a blue light to examine for abrasion and the like. Decides that the eye is okay, but will give me an anti-viral ointment for the eye and some tablets for my suspected Shingles. Shingles by golly. "That's bad isn't it." "Well it can be." He asks me if I feel any pain and to be honest I don't. He seems to think I will have some pain as he tells me to take whatever painkillers are necessary, mmmm. He tells me the virus is related to chicken-pox and can lie dormant for many years. I think in my case it must be like forty. It's not contagious apparently, in that you can't catch shingles from someone with shingles, but if you have a supressed immune system you should steer clear of me.

posted by timesnewroman at 1:25 PM  

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Thursday, September 23, 2004

One for thewife

"If the doors of perception were cleansed, then everything would appear to man as it is, infinite"... William Blake.... and the source of the Doors name.

Tenuous door link follows. Had my perception been cleansed at the time of tackling the "how hard can changing the hinges on a door and rehanging it be be?" question, I would have undoubtedly realised that such a task, if completed in the way one would like it to appear, it would certainly be infinite. I'm not entirely cack-handed, but I may as well have been. It doesn't fit the frame, the hinges aren't quite right and the previous hinge slots are very visible. I think thewife now regrets mentioning the possibility of me undertaking the task.

Bollocks! Caught by the Hypertension clinic. I haven't gone for a while and I sort of didn't bother renewing the prescription because, the blood pressure was down and.... well anyway pleasant nurse puts me as at ease as possible, whilst doing weight and height checks and taking blood. Taking or giving blood is something that my body is very loathe to do. I could never have been an I.V. Drug User, I have very thin practically invisible veins apparently and trained Phlebotomists have struggled to get the red stuff out of my right arm. I suggest the back of the hand and she looks at me saying we're not really supposed to do that. I'm thinking that in a few minutes I'm going to have a a few pin pricks on my arm and nurse will have given up and have to go for the back of the hand anyway. No, she tries the left arm and hey presto, its coming out, slowly, but coming out nevertheless. She apologisies for the bruise I am going to have, but me I'm just impressed that she found the vein.

Next its the blood pressure and this is the bit that's worrying me........... not helped by the earlier realisation that with 15 minutes to go, the appointment is for today and I haven't done the urine sample yet and thewife says it was supposed to have been the first pee of the day, midstream would be best. That's long been flushed away and I'm not sure if I can even do one and when I do I sort of miss, the bottle, not the pan! and then I think I'm not going to be able to do this and then I manage a few drops and wonder if its enough and then finally flow. Whoo-pee so to speak. Except that I am on holiday which entitles me to have partook of a number of glasses of wine last night and what the hell get a move on and you might make it.............. So I am sat there looking at the machine and knowing full well that the sight of one of these things, coupled with someone in a white coat and all my rushing around is guaranteed to have pumped my blood pressure right up. 228 over 143 I know this is bad, this is Hypertension. So off she goes to check with the doctor there and then to see if he will medicate. Bollocks! He comes back with her and its the one doctor in the practice I will NEVER make an appointment with. Comes across as arrogant and dismissive and he once gave me pain killers for a Hiatus Hernia where I gave a pretty accurate description of the symptoms. Anyway to cut a long story short, I took it on the chin and got the medication. I don't want the medication indefinitely, been there before and didn't like it. So went walking in the afternoon, and then shopping for a whole host of healthy goodies and pottassium enriched foodstuffs, such as bananas, which allegedly may help. The diet seriously starts here!

posted by timesnewroman at 5:05 PM  

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Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Reidski was up for the weekend. Monday seemed to disappear entirely. This pretty much explains what happened.

posted by timesnewroman at 10:02 AM  

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Thursday, September 16, 2004

Faring Badly

There's me in fanatasy footie land expecting the sack any day now, and no bloody wonder. I thought I had offloaded Youri Djorkaeff weeks ago. It was only when I decided that Kluivert had to go that I realised I hadn't completed the transfer paperwork properly. I'm never going to win, but the pleasing thing is despite having a number of passengers, there are managers doing worse than me.

posted by timesnewroman at 2:58 PM  

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I'm on holiday this week and next. We aren't going anywhere, just having rest and relaxation. The weather was quite nice yesterday so we went for a walk in Eglinton Park, one of our favourite spots, along with harbourside and the beach park Well at least they were until I found this and this whilst looking for a suitable link! Eek

posted by timesnewroman at 9:21 AM  

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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Palace Insecurity.

"I had a bag with me - there could have been anything in there, explosives or anything. We are totally untrained, just ordinary guys. If we can get in there, anyone can."

The Metropolitan police commissioner, Sir John Stevens, disagreed, saying that the pair would have been shot if officers had thought they were terrorists.

Note to any potential terrorists then - dress up in a silly costume and the Met will assume your just having a larf. Ho Ho Ho.


posted by timesnewroman at 5:32 PM  

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Saturday, September 11, 2004

Nostalgic Value

Father Bell sent me this postcard. It dates way back to the mid to late 1970s, when I was but a lad. Every Sunday night in the Grange Hotel, there would be a live band playing. As often as not it would be these chaps, Joe Lethal. They were the local heroes, brilliant band perfectly merging post-punk new wave covers with the blues and Beatles that they had been brought up with. I remember vividly, the epic "punked up" version of Eleanor Rigby which was their encore. It made the b-side of their first single that got a rave review in the N.M.E as I recall. The flier above must have been for their second single and I believe they made no more. Leo the bassist was a panel beater then and still is. I remember one of my first jobs, selling motor spares. He used to regularly come in for number plates. It was bizarre having one of your local rock gods as a customer.

I was always surprised they never made it relatively big. They looked the part , were well liked and more importantly could play. Live they were brilliant, at least that's how I remember them. The funny thing is I did a trawl acrosss the net and found a few references, nothing about them, just a few people selling the above single, which must be a vinyl collectors piece as it shifts for around �35. Expensive for nostalgia. I think I'll hang on to my youthful memories of just how good they were live.

posted by timesnewroman at 11:45 AM  

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Friday, September 10, 2004

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the woods!Guardian Unlimited Politics | Special Reports | Tory anger mounts at 'botched' reshuffle
posted by timesnewroman at 5:58 AM  

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Sunday, September 05, 2004

PHOTOFUNGI
Jimty is gonna love this!
posted by timesnewroman at 10:49 PM  

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The last Malapropism

What the hell. I should be depressed, we just missed out on the prizes at the King's Arms' Quiz. I was convinced beyond doubt, that croquet has never been an Olympic sport but I was wrong and it looks like thewife is going to remind me of that in perpetuity, despite the fact that I knew that 2-4-6-8- Motorway was a hit for The Tom Robinson Band. The most depressing aspect of this week quiz was question 31. This is a question, which wins a cash prize of up to �100, it hinges on a numerical question which no-one is likely to know the answer to, for example how many competitors entered the first Olympic Games. The prize money accumulates each week, if it gets to �100 the nearest answer wins. We won it once, tonight the prize is up to �80. The question was how many pages are in the Glasgow South Yellow Pages edition 2003-2004. We guessed 1,024 another team guessed 1,026. They were right, we were close, no cigar though. We are never bitter though and the night was lit up for me by a recollection , by the carpentry-lecturer of one of the Councillor's classic Malapropisms. Apparently he saw a particularly good movie last week. The Last Samaritan! You could not make that up if you tried. My all time favourite is of course, when he was best man to a friend who was going to Venice on honeymoon, he offered to go as well as their ghonorrea! No kidding!

posted by timesnewroman at 10:16 PM  

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What kind of fucked up bastards hide behind children? What kind of fucked up bastards link their struggle to religion and believe that any sort of supreme being would welcome them in heaven? Maybe Putin now has cause to wipe Chechnya from the map.

thewife and I had a quiet Saturday and decided to have a Tapas night. Shopping first for the ingredients and then a couple of worthwhile hours of preparation, buoyed by some cook's perks. The resultant feast of patatas bravas; tomatoes, stuffed with avocado, garlic, olives, anchovies and lemon juice; fried cod marinated in garlic, vinegar oregano and cumin; chorizo sausage rolls; asparagus with garlic and lemon mayonnaise; and last but definitely not least, asparagus rolled in salt pepper and lemon rind and wrapped in short crust pastry, (We stopped at this point realising that we really didn't need the Barcelona style pork as well.) De-effing-licious my mouth is watering just writing about it. All washed down by a nice bottle of Garnacha and a couple of bottles of white. Sat there for the rest of the night watching a Jackie Chan movie and purring in self satisfaction like Charlie. Charlie incidentally slept on thewife's lap with one front leg up on the back of the couch. We realised later he had a claw stuck, so laid back he is, he just went to sleep like that.

posted by timesnewroman at 9:17 AM  

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Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Enforced absence due to much business. thewife and mumsy are off galavanting around the North East of England with Auntie N. I've been pretty much left to my own devices. Prior to them heading off though, we did celebrate my birthday, it was on Sunday but we spent the Saturday cooking, rather than eating out. Roast Lamb, Dauphinoise Potatoes and Cabbage, lovely it was and I got to pick the sweet, so it was bread and butter pudding with custard. I got a new jacket and a box for putting stuff in. (The stuff I need to take to work but keep forgetting, like phone, security fob and clock-in card).

The pants fairy came, I don't know whether it was before thewife left or not, but the drawers are full and I have shirts a-plenty. There is a pile of dirty ones in thelaundry basket, so I guess the laundry fairy doesn't come till later in the week.

Thats all I have time for as I'm off to the Woodies.

posted by timesnewroman at 5:23 PM  

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Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Charlie Don't Surf.

Charlie don't do much actually, he eats, sleeps and slinks around the back yard for a while hiding under the Kilmarnock willow. (Well what other kind of willow would we have?)

I've begun to resemble Charlie over the last week, hence no posts. We haven't really done anything worth writing about and haven't gone anywhere. Like Charlie its a case of eating and sleeping.

There was the quiz of course, we came second again, no Lady El as she had run a 10k race in the morning and had celebrated post lunch with a glass or two of vino. We have it on good authority that she performed admirably and finished in under an hour, which she was sort of hoping for. There was also, unmentionably, the football, the bastards I work with apparently had Jam Tarts with their afternoon cuppa and made sure that I was aware of this despite enforced absence.

You would think that the apprentice, with his vast years of experience would know not to wrap a cable-tie round his little finger and pull on it. For this exploit he has received the new "Daft Bastard Award"

thewife is preparing for her little adventure with mumsy and auntie N. She is going on a coach trip to Durham, Beamish and Whitby. I don't envy her at all actually mumsy and N have been best pals for 65 years and a bit and communicate telepathically. I'll be left to fend for myself for a whole week, which means I'll have to re-learn how to find things and iron clothes and stuff.

posted by timesnewroman at 6:37 AM  

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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

The Darkness

Came home from Sunday's quiz to a powercut. Went to bed by torchlight and used the mechanical alarm clock. I'm not stupid me, even after a few drinks. Anyway got to work fobless and clock-in cardless, which basically meant I had to get other people to let me into and around the building. I also discovered that I had left the mobile phone at home. A small inconvenience, I managed for years perfectly well without one. Come home time I am delayed a bit and phone thewife to let her know this and also for her to pick me up at the station. Question is which train will I catch. She is in a hurry because its her drama group tonight, I may if I am lucky catch the 5.30 train, if not the 5.45, but that one branches off at the station before Irvine, Kilwinning which is a branch line. Sorted, I'll get off at Kilwinning. I get a bus from work to town immediately and am at the station in plenty of time to get the 5.30. Sitting in the train reading the paper thirty minutes later, I realise we are speeding through Kilwinning station without stopping. Eek, it arrives 5 minutes later in Irvine at the same time as the train in the other direction is leaving. The next train in that direction is in half an hour. I don't have my mobile phone with me so I have no idea of thewife's number or even if she has her phone with her. I phone someone who phones thewife but gets a weird ringing tone at the other end and nothing happens. I take the number and get the same when I try. Then I try Lady El who phones thewife and gets her at Kilwinning and asks her to come for me. Its late, we have fish suppers in a rush and she heads off.

I wake up this morning and the electronic alarm clock is flashing away. There's been another power cut but I wasn't ready for the swines this time so I am late! Just enough time to blog, shower and run. Got my mobile though and my fob!

posted by timesnewroman at 6:32 AM  

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Monday, August 16, 2004

We're back. Me, You and Him are again prize-winners in the King's quiz. We could have come first if we had got the who's middle name is Fauntelroy and kept stoom about a wrong answer being marked correct, but that's not the kind of team we are. We don't use mobile phones either. Well we did once.

My favourite politico has been getting his leg over a bit seemingly. (Incidently I notice that he still has a porn link in his home page - click on links and the fifth link down is WAC Performing Arts and Media College - It takes you to a site unsuitable for children!) Anyway apparently the man's love interest is none other than the publisher of the Spectator. Now I begin to understand where he gets his politics.

posted by timesnewroman at 6:00 AM  

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Sunday, August 15, 2004

Friday was quite a day. Very little work done on the account of not one but two presentations. The apprentice has reached the amazing tally of 25 years of working for Glasgow City Council. Suspected nothing, despite the balloons adorning his desk. We have been harvesting numerous tales from his pasts and produced an amazing all singing all dancing powerpoint presentation. He was also presented with some good sipping whisky, an airfix model of a Lander class frigate and some vouchers to fill his PS2. He thought the balloons were for CC, who was having her leaving do presentation at 3.30. We had a few glasses of Sangria that jimty brought back from his Portugal trip - be wary Figo fans! Apparently he owns a restaurant where the head waiter picks his nose before serving food - some fizzy and some Maple Leaf Chocs from verygood's Canadian excursion. Washington our head of service did the leaving speech but omitted the Haiku we had slaved over for some time. Then we headed off to Arta' for beer, wine and dinner and a night out. Time passed so very quickly and I was set for the train home at 10.00. thewife kindly picked me up from the station and was much surprised at my lack of gibbering wreckedness and then home. I must remember though that I have to invite themaninblack over for night of guitar playing and dining.

Saturday ever so beautiful weather and we decided to finally get to grips with the large pile of rubble and oven that were blemishing the garden. Several journeys to the municipal coup saw the garden in an entirely new light which means that thewife has some plans for pots and bark and stuff - Homebase calls and we end up with a parasol as well.

Perfect end to the day was sitting outside having a big Mexican spread of Chilli, Rice, Refried Beans, Guacamole, Tortilla Chips and bucketload of Margaritas, whilst listening to Billy Bragg and watching the sun go down and the Marymass Firework Display come up. Bliss.

posted by timesnewroman at 10:36 AM  

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Thursday, August 12, 2004

Little bastard!

Blood, sweat, tears, midges, torrential rain and kids that don't like food! Had a great time for some of the time and am now retiring.

posted by timesnewroman at 5:57 AM  

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