So what is timesnewroman? It's not the font, rather my take on the age we live in. The USA is the new Rome and the times we live in are timesnewroman.
Put your virtual pin on the tnrworld map
Shrine of the blind winger Jones
<
#
Blogging Brits
?
>
timesnewroman is listening to: Tiken Jah Fakoly, Arctic Monkeys, Biffy Clyro, Kings of Leon, Bloc Party, Led Zeppelin, Jimi, Franz Ferdinand, Youssou N'Dour, The Strokes, REM, The Kings of Leon, Curtis Mayfield, Jefferson Airplane, The Trashcan Sinatras, Jeff Buckley, Phil Ochs, Stan Kenton, The Smiths, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Mogwai, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, The Zombies and Orange Juice amongst many others.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Isn't it ironic I found this link across at Bluetealeaf. I usually take my lunch break, okay I may answer the phone during the course of it, but I do usually have a break. Of course yesterday, 25th February would be the day I had a lunchtime meeting and didn't get a break at all!posted by timesnewroman at 1:27 PM
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Starting the way you mean to go on......
jimty's messy desk
Okay, so we have just moved into our splendorous new surroundings and jimty has brought with him all of his old habits. theboss was most impressed that this is the first impression you get of our team!
Even the new underfloor secreted cabling breaks into spaghetti as it reaches jimty's desk.
jimty's tidy wiring
Then again, jimty was the person who devised an instant messy desk, involving the glueing of a whole load of messy shit onto blotting pad and leaving it on the desktop of an anally retentive obsessively compulsive colleague who had a thing about his desk. Poor guy probably wondered how his drawer of carefully lined up pencils and stationery was always chaotic mess when he opened it carefully. It was because jimty frequently lifted it up and dropped it and generaly give it a hefty nudge on passing.
The apprentice also has an excessively tidy approach to desks and pretty much everything else, brought about by years of shipshaping and Bristol fashioning of the kind indulged in by her majesty's Senior Service. jimty knows better than to fuck with him though!
posted by timesnewroman at 7:22 PM
0 comments
Fear and Loathing in the afterlife
posted by timesnewroman at 6:48 AM
Monday, February 21, 2005
The Great Divide We are parted. Like the Red Sea. Well not actually, the Red Sea is a good bit wider and once the removal crates are removed I'll probably have about as far to walk to the apprentice's desk as I did downstairs. Its more of a symbolic separation nevertheless some are less happy than others. Bottom line is, if we are all close together then we get cramped and crammed in like sardines, alternatively there is a walkway between our desks and some are further from the sunlight. There was never the possibility of pleasing everyone in our moving and it shows. I pity most the poor admin folk who have bent over backwards to accommodate people, but underneath probably just want to scream and tell us to take all our petty complaints the fuck out of their lives.I had photos, but the didn't save for some reason, I think the battery was a bit low. Agreat pity as I thought jimty's wrestling bout with the new floor located cable tidying system was a hoot.
posted by timesnewroman at 10:51 PM
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Evolution? Sometimes you wonder why we climbed down from the trees in the first place!If you are at all squeamish, DONT go all the way to the end!
posted by timesnewroman at 12:19 PM
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Cheeky Father Bell kindly forwarded the following gem. Apparently the new Wembley Stadium is going to have a new footbridge and the powers that be are looking for a suitable name for it. A name that links Wembley heritage with the new modern stadium, perhaps a significant moment or person. Like Jim Baxter for example! Seemingly, despite our having slipped to around or is that under Albania in FIFAs world ranking, we Scots still have a sense of humour. If you feel like contributing vote here.We are on the move at work. Its going to be hell I'm sure.
posted by timesnewroman at 8:09 PM
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Natalie and Kayleigh are 4!
thewife in seventh heaven.
I did tell you Julie!
No they aren't twins they are cousins and they had a birthday party to which we were invited, and at which we had a great time. thewife got her hands on baby Kharys who later had to be prised from her arms.
posted by timesnewroman at 2:30 PM
Friday, February 11, 2005
Going Up in The WorldWe are getting ready to move office, same building, a floor higher. Newly refurbished open plan accommodation, nice carpets, bright walls, fancy lighting and a whole load of new rules just waiting to be broken. For starters there are to be no tea/coffee stations or coffee table areas like we have at the moment, no posters or pictures on walls, no uplighters and no baffle boards or furniture which might otherwise serve to territorialise the workspace. jimty and the apprentice have been working on an A to Z list of dictats likely to emerge via email from the people who are supposed to enable us to do our jobs. Possibilities include a bar on smiling, turning round, speaking to colleague without a pre-arranged appointment. This is shaping up to be so much fun, who knows, we may forget to go home.
In time honoured tradition though, we aren't just going to take this lying down, nor will be so crass as to simply file greivances. Nope, we have the posters ready to promote a cult of personality around the top boss. Along with posters that read "Please don't put posters on the wall!"
We will introduce our "lets hum a really crap tune and see who picks it up" game across a much wider area and doubtless, the apprentice will devise and construct some new awards to accompany "Shit Stirrer of the Week", "Grass of the Week", "Employee of the Month" and the "White feather award for the biggest feartie." That'll teach them to treat us like kids!
Popped into the Co-op in Galston last night. This young bloke drove up in a Lamboughini, left the engine running, keys in the ignition and went into the shop.
I'd have been off with it myself if I knew how to drive a tractor.
posted by timesnewroman at 5:38 PM
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Death to the SUV Drivers!
Crazy Bastard in an SUV
This isn't a reference to the craziness, crassness and downright self-indulgent waste that is implicit in the ownership and use of these vehicles. Nope, not at all, its about the arrogant detachment and fuck you all attitude of the bastards who drive them. I was out at our office Christmas extravaganza last night, more of which later, and thewife was kind enough to pick me up (in a relatively sober state may I add) from Kilwinning station, when I got off the train. On the way home, at the junction artistically re-created above, we were over( or should that be under)taken by some flash bastard in a big black SUV . You can see in the above picture, the red lines show the direction of traffic flow that should happen at the junction, the yellow line shows the actual path taken. What I can't show in the picture is that when you cross the junction the road narrows back into a single lane, hence mister bastard's extremely dangerous manouevre could have resulted in quite a nasty accident. At the time I yelled "I hope you die you bastard" I still do, in a bad smash where only they get hurt.
Our office Christmas extravaganza was you may well think a tad late or early, but either way, was a deliberate choice on our part. We suspended the eclebration until February, knowing full well that we wouldn't be crammed in, rushed through the conveyer belt of sub-standard, overpriced Christmas fare that is the norm at that time of year. Indeed we went to Esca in the Trongate, to which I am more than happy to extend a plug for their welcome hospitality, good food, charming surroundings and very reasonable prices. The only drawback had nothing to do with the restaurant, and everything to do with our planning, which meant that the next stop was a distance away for a quick pint at the Crystal Palace, a Wetherspoon's venue, for the leaving party for two of the Welfare Rights team in the section next to us, thence onward via taxi to stop number two, for the leaving parties of two further colleagues in Yate's. We probably spent as much time travelling between venues, eating into valuable drinking time but nonetheless I knew as soon as we entered the place it was my idea of hell. Hordes of drunken pubescents, pounding Kylie at earsplitting volumes and ......well the good bits were the company, bumped into a number of people I haven't seen for a while, and the service was very fast as well. Oh how we laughed and took photos as the boss's boss was dragged to the dancefloor. The all to soon it was time to head for the train. Working in Glasgow and living quite far out of it means that I always have to leave quite early, however sometimes I think that's probably a good thing. Waking up as I did hangover free.
An interesting point re the above is the number of leaving parties all happening at once. Okay, 2 of those are internal promotions the other two are losses to our department, in one case a wealth of irreplaceable experience gone just like that, with more to follow. I'm beginning to wonder if the ship is possibly sinking.
posted by timesnewroman at 6:04 PM
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Singapore SlingThe apprentice gets more worrying each day. He has told us so many tales, but every so often he uncorks a stultifying mindfuck of a story. Today was such a day. It goes back to his time in Her Majesty's Navy, when he travelled the world, seeing very little of it as he was pished most of the time. On this particular occasion, a party of colleagues were offshore, enjoying the finest of food and wines in an upmarket restaurant in Singapore. He was unable to join them mostly because they chose to exclude him from their group on this particular occasion. They also chose to goad him, rather unwisely from the comfort of their restaurant, taunting him with forkfuls of tasty morsels and raising their glasses in salute. I say unwisely as the apprentice can adopt a bitter attitude if riled. Bitter enough to search the filthy streets of Singapore in monsoon season for any humungous, bloated, dead rat that may have been lying around in a state of decay for weeks. Bitter enough to run into the restaurant, and throw said rat into the middle of their table onto the crisp linen table cloth and silver tableware, whereupon it did burst and discharge its contents. Pretty much what you might imagine a week old dead bloated rat might contain. Needless to say he hoofed it toot sweet, leaving the assembled diners to wretch and spew their assorted rings*. (*vomit uncontrollably)
posted by timesnewroman at 8:36 PM
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Strange day at work. Turns out that the Guardian Crossword features a number of clues about guns. That in itself is not a great cause for concern, what is a bit worrying is the knowledge that the apprentice has of numerous firearm capabilities, including the "Uzi" and the "Kalashnikov AK 47". Yes, we are well away of his naval background but its disconcerting nonetheless.Jimty popped out to one of the three local Asian Carry-Out food shops nearby for his lunch. My own personal favourite is The Village , frankly I wouldn't go to any of the others on account of the Village being the best and some of the stuff that the others do is just plain unappetising. Anyway I digress, Jimty arrives back from the Clay Oven with a "lunchtime special" consisting of chiken, pakora and something else. The chicken looks as though its had a bite out of it! On closer inspection it HAS had a bite taken out of it! I mean for god's sake who would sell something like that? The Clay Oven obviously. We started to wonder if someone had taken a bite in the restaurant and left it and then its ended up in his lunch. If so, did they leave it because it was crap or what? On returning it, he got offered a replacement but opted for his money back and a trip across the road to the Village.
On another matter entirely, Banks, I fucking hate them!
posted by timesnewroman at 6:32 PM
