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Friday, February 11, 2005

Going Up in The World

We are getting ready to move office, same building, a floor higher. Newly refurbished open plan accommodation, nice carpets, bright walls, fancy lighting and a whole load of new rules just waiting to be broken. For starters there are to be no tea/coffee stations or coffee table areas like we have at the moment, no posters or pictures on walls, no uplighters and no baffle boards or furniture which might otherwise serve to territorialise the workspace. jimty and the apprentice have been working on an A to Z list of dictats likely to emerge via email from the people who are supposed to enable us to do our jobs. Possibilities include a bar on smiling, turning round, speaking to colleague without a pre-arranged appointment. This is shaping up to be so much fun, who knows, we may forget to go home.

In time honoured tradition though, we aren't just going to take this lying down, nor will be so crass as to simply file greivances. Nope, we have the posters ready to promote a cult of personality around the top boss. Along with posters that read "Please don't put posters on the wall!"

We will introduce our "lets hum a really crap tune and see who picks it up" game across a much wider area and doubtless, the apprentice will devise and construct some new awards to accompany "Shit Stirrer of the Week", "Grass of the Week", "Employee of the Month" and the "White feather award for the biggest feartie." That'll teach them to treat us like kids!

Popped into the Co-op in Galston last night. This young bloke drove up in a Lamboughini, left the engine running, keys in the ignition and went into the shop.

I'd have been off with it myself if I knew how to drive a tractor.

posted by timesnewroman at 5:38 PM  


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