Thursday, December 27, 2007

Hibernation over, Hibernian overcome!

It’s been way too long since I’ve posted anything. Mostly because we’ve been far too busy doing stuff like spending 2 weeks in Lanzarote celebrating thewife’s 50th birthday. A whole lot of fun that was, sun, sea and excellent food as can be seen in the other blog.

Just got back to discover the sad death of an old friend from school. We had drifted apart since, but between the ages of 16 and 18 we were the best of friends. Dean, like me was very much into music and it was extremely important at that age to be ahead of everyone else, apart from the godawful Pink Floyd which we both loved then, we were also into early Springsteen, Robin Trower and Todd Rundgren amongst many others. Dean was a big, big fan of Frankie Miller, long before anyone else had even heard of him. My most enduring memory is of him borowing my extremely ornate guitar (probably aimed at the C&W market), slinging it over his shoulder and heading for the last bus to Kilwinning, whilst under the influence of mind altering chemicals. Apparently he bumped into his history teacher. I envisioned a scene like Spud's interview in Trainspotting. I would occasionally bump into him on a train or in the street and we'd both say that we must catch up over a pint sometime, but it never ever happened. He was diagnosed with liver cancer and died 5 weeks later.

This sad event was followed up by an excellent trip to London, staying with Reidski, doing some Christmas shopping and a whole lot of eating and drinking with Reidski and Jane and generally having a great time. I promised Reidski and Jane that we would post some picture of the Christmas lights on the houses around us, given that we thought London houses were epitome of restraint and taste. (Well except for naked guy painting open window – we have no idea, but we did see this.) Unfortunately, all the pictures I took turned out pretty rubbish, which was great pity I’m sure they would have loved the one with the hut-sized Santa’s grotto in the front garden.

We also popped in and visited Father Bell's partner at the palace of Westminster and she took us round the whole thing, not just the tourist tour but a behind the scenes look at gubbins as well. An all to brief luncheon call on the good Father at home, saw him rustle up a spectacular sausage casserole and a scrummy trifle to boot, washed down with copious quantities of as ever fabulous wines. He is a wine buyer after all.

After the visit Christmas pretty much landed on us. Santa brought both thewife and I bicycles, so as soon as we get round to getting a pump to blow up the tyres, we are off on a healthy exercise regime for the next year.

On the way to the footie yesterday Alex told us of a wee bump his son had when another vehicle swerved into him. I should love to see the insurance claim form for this one. I found the story a little difficult to grasp at first trying to get my head round the concept of Council Hawks. Nope it’s not a group of right wingers at all. They have in fact both a right and a left wing and are used by North Ayrshire Council to frighten seagulls from municipal dumps. Apparently, Alex’s son had just repaired his daughter’s car and was taking it for a test run, when one of the hawks in the van used to transport them had got loose. Driver then swerved into Alex’s son. I later related this tale to thewife who knew right away what the hawks were for.

On the footie front I have to say that Killie’s run of 7 games without a win came to an end with an absolutely fantastic performance against Hibs. A perfect end to Christmas with the exception of a ludicrous penalty given to an extremely lacklustre Hibs side.

Labels: friends and football

posted by timesnewroman at 12:26 PM  

2 comments

Friday, November 09, 2007

Are You Mad?

We said we had tickets for Beirut. "Are you mad?" they asked No, we meant Beirut the band. We went, we saw, we loved. At times the sound went a bit awry. I guess the sound engineer is used to guitars and the like. There were moments when the feedback from the brass was sore on the ears, but overall they were magnificent. Its refreshing to see a bunch of young folks doing something as fresh and as exiciting as this. I just love the whole sound the whole ambience and young Zach Condon's voice. The Arches is an excellent venue to boot, we had a fabulous dinner in the upstairs cafe before the gig and an excellent vantage point for the show. thewife even had a personal cooling vent above her which helped enormously with her age related tropical moments. If you missed them, you can get a feel of them here.





All this and a holiday in Lanzarote in a week. Yowzah, Yowzah Yowzah!

Labels: Gigs

posted by timesnewroman at 11:30 PM  

2 comments

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Gone to the dogs

Busy busy weekend, which kicked off quite nicely with the 40th Birthday bash of one Tam Dewar. Naw no that one, another one entirely as can be seen by the age. Our Sunday night quiz adversary and Monday night quiz compatriot has turned 40 and celebrated with a surprise party at Ayr Dog track and social. Never been to greyhound races before and it all looked splendid fun so I have no idea what these nutters, who I found whilst looking for directions are on about. Honestly with all the shite around in the world today these loonies find greyhound racing to be the number 1 cause for concern. Christ all the dogs looked extremely well cared for and well treated. Fuck off and get a life.

Then there's the football at 12:30 on a Saturday. I hate Setanta, they fair fuck up your sense of time. I hate getting beat by Celtic as well, particularly when your due a share of the points, however a shocking 1st half performance where we gave away goals leaves no room for complaint. Despite shite refereeing, the second half was far, far better, a more polished display saw Celtic on the back foot and struggling, with Killie the dominant side and had they tucked away the clear chances the result would have been very different. Why is it Celtic fans see the need to come to a football match and wave this shitey rag at you??



Straight after the footie its a visit to the travel agent to look for a holiday for thewife's big birthday milestone which is coming soon. I've been looking for deals on the internet and its been doing my nut in with the level of choice or non-choice and of recent the possibility of a 2 week break, leaving from Glasgow has been getting further and further away as the prices for the available dates get more and more prohibitive. Fortunately the professional knows her stuff and gets us exactly what we want at a knock down price flying from Gatwick. The price was so knock down we can afford to go to Gatwick to get it. Holiday booked ya dancer.

Today, today is a visit to the BBC's Good Food show in Glasgow for which I really must get a move on.

Labels: love and hate

posted by timesnewroman at 7:12 PM  

0 comments

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Okay, so I've not been too busy to blog, I just couldn't be arsed! So now I'm forcing myself to do post something before I forget how.

First up I have a new project its only going to be food related and its here. I pinched the title from Reidski, but he won't mind I'm sure.

Friday night I had an urge to go and see Arcade Fire, but at £46 for two tickets in a big barn, I decided on a whim to have a look at the HAC site. Would you believe it, our favourite Rock covers band are on and its only £ 8 for two tickets. I'm sure Arcade Fire were good, but Big Licks were simply troopers of the old school, parading a set list including Alex Harvey's Framed, the Who's Won't Get Fooled Again, A bizarre Stevie Wonder/Led Zeppelin blended medley (I believe the young folks call it a Mash Up) which has to be seen and heard to be believed and the bastards even sent a tear down my face when they played While My Guitar Gently Weeps, which I last heard at Manuel's funeral. I'm beginning to like the HAC more now that you can take your drink into the theatre with you. Did I mention the stunning artwork by the immensely talented brother of Reidski? Arcade Fire Pah!

Football, what can I say, sublime, ridiculous? A bit of both actually. 3 -1 against Heart of Madlithuanian is definitely not to be scoffed at in normal circumstances. But these were far from normal circumstances. After a bleak injury devastated month or two, we finally had players back, Hay and Invincibile which made quite a difference. Throughout the first half I was convinced as were many around me that this clown had recently opened a new Ukio Bankas account, such was the standard of refereeing. Alex who was with me had just returned from the States where he saw stepson Craig's Burlington Barons (I have no idea how to read that league table) play in a series of matches refereed bizarrely by retired basketball referees. We thought this was perhaps where Mr Collum should fuck off to!

Nevertheless just before the end of the first half he sent off Hearts' Chistian Nade for an appalling assault and from then on things got better and better. A penalty taken by Nish saw the "Nishometer" swing back from the "Pish" to the "Not too bad ". Also fabulous to see Eric Skora back as sub after a few years. He'd been on loan from Preston, went back, we bought him a season or so later but he had a lengthy injury and this is the first time I've seen him in a while. All in all a good day out.


All this and Veal for dinner again.

Labels: warm and fuzzy

posted by timesnewroman at 3:08 PM  

3 comments

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

thewife's birthday treat

To say thewife was euphoric when she discovered that her beloved Led Zeppelin were going to be playing a one off gig on her 50th birthday would not be an exaggeration. It was almost as if they had pulled this out of the bag exclusively for her. What better birthday present could I get. It was going to be a surprise too until she picked up the Sun of all papers whilst waiting in a Chinese takeaway. We NEED to register she says. Its already done I say, it was going to be a surprise and if we didn't get tickets and you never read that, it would never have mattered. Trouble is she did read it, we didn't get tickets and now she's down, poor soul. Course what really, really irks me is this shower of CUNTS who clearly did get tickets. The organiser in balloting the tickets and limiting them to 2 per person have clearly intended the distribution to be as fair as possible. Why not go that extra mile and demand that the uplift of tickets is accompanied by the purchasing credit card on the day of the concert with no pass-outs. That way those who bought the tickets would have to go to the concert. I'm thinking of starting a campaign to get spoof e-bay accounts and bidding ridiculous amounts for tickets with absolutely no intention of purchasing. That would sort the bastards out, having to relist every hour or so. Anyone for tout tormenting??

Labels: Fuck Off and Die Touts

posted by timesnewroman at 6:07 AM  

2 comments

Monday, September 24, 2007

Visitations

Its been an eventful few days of a holiday weekend. We were fortunate to catch up with Father Bell and partner on their visit up north from down south on the Thursday evening where we ate and drank until the early hours, whilst listening to a variety of musical entertainment. The following morning at 10:00am, we set off to visit Reidski, completely forgetting the stressfulness of the M6 from our previous visit. This time though it was worse, far worse. We expected to get to Reidski's fab new pad by around 7:00pm at the latest, but instead arrived famished and thirsty and completely knackered by 10:00pm. 12 hours after setting out. Damn the M6 I say and all who drive on it. Then we had a splendid few days indulging in some excellent company, food, drink, pubs and even a bit if culture thrown in for good measure. Reidski being well on form and having much fun with his Waterboys albums. When it was time to go, he suggested another route, avoiding both congestion charges and the M6. It involved the Blackwall tunnel and the M11 to Cambridge, then the A1M, then the last portion of the M6 and home. Theoretically a good option. We didn't however reckon on this event, which kept us in a traffic tailback for 2.5 hours, which was bad enough, thewife however was bursting for the loo but there was nowhere to go, then it looked like the traffic was moving so I switched the igniton back on, or at least I tried to, but it was dead, the fan had been running and the sidelights had been on since the tunnel. I tried to get a jump start from the nice Czech chap in front of me but it wasn't sounding good and then the Highway Agency blokes came over and advised we would have to move onto the hard shoulder and the nice Czech chap had to go. I would have to phone Green Flag to come and get me started. It was just at that point when the voice at the other end of my mobile phone advised me I was running out of credit. Fortunately Green Flag phoned back and advised they'd have someone there within the hour. It was at that point that the Highway Agency bloke and Cambridgeshire Traffic Police were pushing me onto the the Hard Shoulder that they suggested trying to bump start it. Of course it starts right away, and they now want me to exit via the nearby on-ramp, by now though thewife was no longer just bursting she was stating quite firmly that since all the traffic had gone and the motorway was empty she would just have to open both doors and pee on the fast lane of the M11 and I had to explain to the traffic police that this was definitely going to delay my exit by a few minutes. They just laughed. Thewife's business complete, we set off on our way yet again. Eventually getting home a whole 20 minutes faster than the journey to London. Next time its the train for sure.

Labels: Should've gone by train

posted by timesnewroman at 9:22 PM  

4 comments

Thursday, September 13, 2007

St James

HOLY FUCK WHAT HAPPENED?

Labels: I love football

posted by timesnewroman at 6:11 AM  

1 comments

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Totally Fucked Up

This must be about as fucked up as it is possible to be.

Labels: Eastern European Shit

posted by timesnewroman at 5:38 PM  

0 comments

Saturday, September 01, 2007

When is a stonewall penalty not a penalty?

Answer: When this fat bald cretin (he likes James Blunt???) is in charge of the game. Okay, we are still reeling from the loss of Naismith in a last minute theft. We needed some cheering up amd could well have been, given that Aberdeen are clearly shite. But it wasn't to be, a dreadful first half, followed by crap refereeing decisions meant that the luck was going the other way this time. I suppose we can't complain, we have rode our luck somewhat, so far.

One good thing though was the emergence of young Willie Gibson, this boy is good, won't be long before the Old Firm are offering us a few million for him.

Oh and my new addition to the blog, the "Nishometer" which will display just how well the big man has entertained us each week.

Labels: I hate football

posted by timesnewroman at 4:47 PM  

0 comments

Life just gets better and better

Bollocks!

Labels: bad bad bad

posted by timesnewroman at 10:28 AM  

0 comments

Friday, August 17, 2007

Fuck Off You Cunt!

Its been a while since I've posted anything. I'm not bored just distracted. The grim reaper seems to have been roaming around the nearby fields in a combine harvester. Too many funerals in too few weeks. Am I getting old?

Labels: death

posted by timesnewroman at 6:05 AM  

0 comments

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Renewal

That's a good start to the season although I doubt Reidski will agree. I really really must get that season ticket.

On a less happy note, I feel the need to remark on the passing of a fairly legendary local politician of note. Once upon a time the Labour Party used to elect politicians from within the ranks of the working class, ordinary folk who were at home with their own people. Such a character was wee Jack. Difficult at times to understand with an extremely fast tongue and broad accent, he nevertheless knew his role inside out. Self dubbed Councillor for fences, he would almost, but not quite, mock the internationalist rantings and resolutions of the young vanguard. We were looking at the bigger picture and he was representing and working on behalf of the folk who elected him to fix their fences and deal with their housing issues. And elect him they did, time and time again with an untouchable majority, he was even once elected unopposed.

Every camp our Woodies ever held locally, he would walk out to the site, early on a Sunday morning and cook breakfast for 20 - 50 people, because he enjoyed it. We did too, he made a good breakfast. Fare thee well then, Mr Magnum man.


On a much, much happier note. Congratulations Craig and Maria on the birth of Kelsey (Bet that spelling is way wrong)

Labels: Good, Sad, Wonderful

posted by timesnewroman at 3:50 PM  

2 comments

Saturday, August 04, 2007

It's good news week

I may just renew my season ticket after all!

Labels: There's Only One Stephen Naismith

posted by timesnewroman at 4:35 PM  

0 comments

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Decor uhmmm

The new gal at work is having a rare old time overseeing the fitting out and decor of some buildings that will be used as residential homes. (If thewife knew there was such a job, she'd have applied) TNG goes into one of the buildings that they have already put up lights in and decides that they are hideous, institutional and have no place in a residential home. She tells the Clerk of Works this and says they will have to be changed. "Oh but that will cost you a packet" says Clerk of Works. "Okay" says TNG "I'll arrange for the go ahead. TNG goes back to workplace with example of hideous light fitting, unfortunately the person who can give the go ahead is off sick, so she has to go to a much higher manager. She gets a slot and goes in to manager's office and explains situation and shows manager the light fitting. Manager says she thinks that it looks okay. TNG says "You're having me on aren't you?" Manager says "No, I've got them in my house!" TNG says "Shall I collect my P45 on the way out?" Manager laughs and gives TNG the go ahead to make the changes!

Labels: telling your boss's boss's boss that they have no taste

posted by timesnewroman at 2:45 PM  

2 comments

Friday, July 20, 2007

Aberdeen Bird gets away with robbery!

This is actually quite funny. Particularly the video.

Labels: True Crime

posted by timesnewroman at 7:10 PM  

0 comments

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Quicksilver Messenger Service Dino's Song LIVE 1967

Labels: Why I love You Tube

posted by timesnewroman at 7:47 PM  

0 comments

Grateful Dead - Darkstar (Part I)

Labels: Why I love You Tube

posted by timesnewroman at 7:42 PM  

0 comments

The Byrds Eight Miles High

Labels: Why I love You Tube

posted by timesnewroman at 7:41 PM  

0 comments

Moby Grape Mike Douglas show

Labels: Why I love You Tube

posted by timesnewroman at 7:41 PM  

0 comments

Its a beautiful day - White bird

Labels: Why I love You Tube

posted by timesnewroman at 7:40 PM  

0 comments

Monday, July 09, 2007

Campbell, Spinmeister, Understatement Whew

In the BBC interview Mr Campbell said he still believed it was right to go to war. "I don't think the aftermath was as well planned as it should have been, I would accept that. I was alongside Tony as he made what was clearly the most difficult decision of his life, and his career...I think he was driven by the right motives."

Oh well, that she make it all right then. Particularly amazed by "aftermath was as well planned as it should have been" bit. Holy Fuck is there no end to the vanity/stupidity?

Labels: Fuck Off and Die

posted by timesnewroman at 6:11 AM  

0 comments

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Paris, again, yawn!

Well we had a great time for a week ate great food,

thewife showed off her amazing grasp of French, acquired over the past year, by her flawless ordering of the three coffees pictured below!

Saw some old sights:

And some new ones
(Note the extremely "jaunty" angle of Monsieur Cool's hat:

thewife and Lady El got their nails done

Stayed up late and drank a lot:

AND now I'm back at work and its like I've never been away. To make matters worse I can't even get in to Steve's Blog. Steve if you read this, can I get an Invite or your email address.

Cheers!

Labels: Work

posted by timesnewroman at 4:45 PM  

7 comments

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Off on Holiday

We are going here for a week. Ya dancer. I may post stuff, depends.

Labels: Worklessness

posted by timesnewroman at 7:43 PM  

3 comments

Sunday, June 10, 2007

I have seen and heard the future! It is Beirut .......

......The band, not the city. I was sort of channel surfing through MTV and the like when I caught a glimpse of brilliance at the tail end of Gonzo. The video was incredible the music was beautifully haunting and very definitely original. I rarely go into uber-raving mode about something as simple as music, but in this case I present to you for your delectation the immensely talented young Zach Condon. Enjoy!

Labels: warm and fuzzy

posted by timesnewroman at 3:02 PM  

2 comments

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Pppick up a pppenguin

The Apprentice's son was 20 yesterday. The apprentice having a jocular nature has got some of us to mock up an adopt a penguin sponsorship certificate along with a postcard photograph of a penguin and a penguin fact sheet. The apprentice is going to tell him that he's getting a bit old just to give money to, so he's sponsored a penguin in his name instead. The result should extremely funny indeed!

Labels: penguins

posted by timesnewroman at 3:18 PM  

0 comments

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Ouchhhh!




















This little bugger nearly took my eye out!
posted by timesnewroman at 6:28 AM  

4 comments

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Margaret Hodge is a Power Hoor

Housing allocation based not on need - fabulous idea Hodge. Where the Fuck did you come up with that then? Worried about the BNP encroaching on your majority? Truth is you only care about keeping your seat you obnoxious git. Why don't you just join the BNP then (as Steve Bell suggests in his excellent cartoon ) That way you can go the whole hog and advocate not letting immigrants into the country in the first place!

Labels: Fuck Off and Die

posted by timesnewroman at 5:48 AM  

0 comments

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Paper Roses

That's it for another season. Beautiful summer-like day, 11,000 crowd, swollen by the offer to season ticket holders to bring a friend and swollen by a big crowd of followers of Heart of Midlithuania who were rather hoping for a win and for their west coast brethren to do them a favour.

No such luck ya Jambos!

There's only one Stephen Naismith and I hope he's staying put for another season, any less than £ 4,000,000 would be an insult.

Labels: There's Only One Stephen Naismith

posted by timesnewroman at 5:29 PM  

0 comments

Friday, May 18, 2007

Goodbye, Good Riddance

Maybe now he can get a job where they pay enough for him to be able to buy socks!

Labels: Fuck Off and Die

posted by timesnewroman at 5:59 AM  

0 comments

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Smug Arrogant Git



























Doncha just wanna smack the smug git with a hook through the mouth!
posted by timesnewroman at 7:55 PM  

0 comments

Monday, May 14, 2007

Long wait over

After 7 years in charge, Jim Jeffries finally manages to take a full 3 points from the huns. Oh what fun I had today at work smiling down on the followers of hunnery, whistling a happy number by Marie Osmond and generally walking with a spring in my step.

Labels: One over on the weegies

posted by timesnewroman at 6:28 PM  

0 comments

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Back Door Man

An Open letter to the Presiding Officer of the Scottish Parliament.

Dear Mr Presiding Officer,

I am timesnewroman. I no longer have any confidence in any of the political parties seeking to govern Scotland. I don't believe that any of them can or for the most part are capable of representing my views. Accordingly, I think I am ideally placed to be the natural representative of the Spoiled Ballot Paper Party in the Parliament. I do believe that 7% of the vote should be enough to gain a seat and maybe you could just kick out the last elected SNP list member then even stevens would be pretty interesting.

Please let me know quite quickly as I have a day job. (Can I do both??)

Yours etc

timesnewroman

Labels: chancer

posted by timesnewroman at 6:04 AM  

0 comments

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Smells Fishy

Strange but true, we are about to be led by a duo of fish from a party which has an upturned fish as it's symbol, after an election which saw 100,000 spoiled ballot papers! The Daily Mash pretty well sums up this ridiculous state of democracy.

Labels: Fishy Tales

posted by timesnewroman at 2:32 PM  

1 comments

Friday, May 04, 2007

Life on Earth?

I have woken up. It appears to be the late 1970s early 1980s. It appears that there are SNP MSPs in places where they shouldn't be. I am awaiting the arrival of the New Romantics. This time I am ready though. This time I will kill them. You can't always depend on the Smiths.

Labels: Deja Vu

posted by timesnewroman at 7:06 AM  

0 comments

Thursday, May 03, 2007

What difference does it make? Amazing, a whole election campaign and not a word about it here until now. The campaign has practically been invisible. A few posters on lamp-posts and election leaflets via the mail. I'm struggling to come to terms with who I will vote for, rather than vote against. That's easy - The SNP (Wankers - totally ineffective in opposition and a crowd of opportunist chancers to boot who will change their hue depending on who they are up against); The Conservatives (A shower of Bastards still!) Liberals (Political invertebrates) which for the Scottish Parliament vote leaves things tricky. I can't stand the Labour Candidate, and there is no-one else I will vote for in the Constituency Section do I skip it or what? In the list section, where you get to choose a party or raggle-taggle individual I chose the SSP candidate last time, who won a seat. This time however , she is a Solidarity Candidate and the SSP are also standing which means both will probably lose - clearly a lot of hate there. I just reckon I may even go Green and that is like me making my mind up right now. God I've decided to vote Hippie as I write this! Council Elections extremely easy, I'm voting Labour. Well actually I'm voting their third choice as number 1 and that's it no 2nd or 3rd cos of their other candidates 1 is a complete tosser and the other a non-entity. There. Done until I get to the ballot box.

originally posted 6:47 am this morning (in the wrong palce)

Labels: elections

posted by timesnewroman at 9:11 PM  

0 comments

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit (Woodstock 1969)
posted by timesnewroman at 8:48 AM  

0 comments

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Gotta Go

How good does this look? We have tickets and we are going. Not just to watch, I wanna JOIN!

Labels: Choirs that sing Jefferson Airplane songs

posted by timesnewroman at 8:06 AM  

1 comments

Monday, April 16, 2007

Mine's Camp

Blank Frank ponders the invasion of Poland

M&S pin-up boy apparently appreciates the culture of the Third Reich. I always knew there was something dodgy about those uniforms he wore in the seventies. Should please M&S no end.

Labels: doodles

posted by timesnewroman at 6:43 PM  

1 comments

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Trevor Sinclair 1997 QPR Goal

Labels: I love football

posted by timesnewroman at 7:43 AM  

0 comments

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible

You leave it too long and then there's too much to write so you can't be arsed and then it just sort of lays there doing nothing and everyone else seems to be doing the same.

Nevertheless brief recap of the past week or so. We were visited by Reidski and lad, who now is taller than Mrs TNR and possibly catching TNR to boot (lad that is not Reidski!) Thoroughly enjoyable time doing nothing but drinking wine, watch TV, introducing Reidki (too late) to the world's greatest ever television programme that was Life on Mars (slightly more of this later) and the Apprentice. God did we even talk much or listen to much?

Then 'twas Easter weekend where we did very little but relax, barbecue a whole sheep (I made that bit up it was really just a leg) drink wine and visit friends where we spent a great deal of time chatting, catching up and generally having a great time. The following day, Easter Monday thewife fell sick and called off participation in the day in its entirety. Which meant that she missed the marvelous Midlake in Concert at the ABC. Excellent gig excellent vibe man, they really have a seventies thing going on there which I really like.

Tuesday and all eyes on the biggie no not Manure v Roman Nazi Scum which I must admit catching the incredible 1st half and a bit of the 2nd, no the biggie was the final episode of Life on Mars, of course there were guesses as to the ending and the mystery within, however truth is, it didn't really matter it was an entertaining drama on its own so much that you didn't really need a resolution. Oh and there were two really important words that television producers should take note of: Entertaining and Drama. You see neither very much on TV nowadays. Yes the ending was a classic and I'll miss it but I'm glad they finished it when they did. You loose the sparkle, I think after 2 series and there's the spin off which will be excellent I'm sure. Thing is, were the seventies really that brown? There ye go Father Bell meant to hundreds of times and finally got round to it. You don't know what you got till its gone! Have you got your mini-sam?

Labels: Gigs

posted by timesnewroman at 6:14 AM  

4 comments

Sunday, April 01, 2007

From the Ridiculous to the Sublime

It was indeed a fine day for football yesterday, but that was no reason to tempt fate by playing Rolf Harris's Fine Day Cup Final song again, particularly so soon after the debacle that was the cup final. But no that wasn't going to affect us at all to day, despite having that chube Smith in goals yet again because of a Coombe injury. Nope we started spritely indeed and Momo Sylla was dancing down the wing with the ball at his feet putting inch perfect balls into Naismith in the box. The wag behind us remarked 1 minute into the game that Naismith had seen more service than in the entirety of the Cup Final. Truth is we totally dominated the game in the first half and should have had a penalty. Aberdeen were never in it for a moment. Second half started same as the first with Killie very much in the driving seat. Then, unbelievably a defensive header back to keeper turns into farce as Smith, a man known for being rooted to his line actually comes out for a ball only to see it glide unbelievably over his head into the net. Ten minutes later there is a fracas between Sylla and an Aberdeen player which the referee hadn't seen and which only came to his attention because of the crowd reaction to a boot being directed at Sylla. Nevertheless, this clueless idiot decides to award a free kick to Aberdeen from which they score! I promise you it was a fucking travesty, to be 2 goals behind having totally dominated a game where Aberdeen have barely been out of their own half. Finally we get a penalty for a clear hand ball, courtesy of the linesman as eagle-eye Winters hadn't seen it. From thence on in, we pounded the buggers' goalmouth only for our super talented striker Nish to waste every sitter that came his way. Fine Day my arse, we gubbed them 1 - 2.

I find it incredible to believe that Aberdeen are where they are in the league if this is what they are capable of. Bitter as I am I feel I must share a particularly poor joke about the good burghers of that city.

A research student was studying sheep shagging across the rural sheep farming areas of the UK. She first visited Wales and discovered that the most common approach to sheep shagging seemed to be where the sheep's front legs were put over a fence, and the back legs were thrust into the front of the shagger's wellington boots and from there the business so to speak was gone about. She then went to Devon and a local farmer explained that he would get his wellingtons on, take the sheep's front legs and put them over a dry stone wall and then tuck the back legs into his wellies and a jolly good time he'd have. Next stop was Yorkshire where she spoke to a number of folk all of whom stated their preference for the sheep's front legs being hung over a hedge whilst the back legs get stuck down the front of their wellingtons. She then went to Aberdeen and spoke to the area's leading sheep shagger who said that in Aberdeen, they usually would tuck the sheep's rear legs into the front of their wellies and then put the animal's front legs over their shoulders. The researcher found this very interesting and explained to the farmer that all over the UK sheep shaggers more or less used the same technique except here in Aberdeen. Ah he replied, we used to do it that way as well, but we found out we were missing out on all the good kissing. That's one for the Sheep Shagging Bastards.

And a dash straight from the football for a night at the opera where at the Theatre Royal we were going to be seeing Madama Butterfly. We had very little time to get something to eat before the performance, so we popped into a little Italian place in Cambridge Street, Fazzi's, famous apparently for first bringing Italian foodstuffs to Scotland in the 1940s. Food was okay but they got the order wrong and brought us tuna and pasta rather than chicken and pasta, but we didn't have time to complain and then the waitress forgot our espressos so not tip, sorry. We were though entertained in a way that only Glasgow on a Saturday evening can. Nope I don't mean the opera, we were still in Fazzi's looking out of the window at Elvis working his way slowly up the street serenading passers by, complete with quiff, sideburns and drainpipes. I kid you not, slightly pished he grabbed onto a pole to guide him towards the chip shop opposite us and indeed a few minutes later there was a man in the chip shop who looked like Elvis. It was priceless and I wished I'd had my camera with me.

Onto the opera. Most excellent it was and tempted as I was I didn't boo the baddie , well not until the curtain call anyway. All in all a superb evening.

Labels: Gigs, Kilmarnock keeper Smith is a chube

posted by timesnewroman at 9:12 AM  

0 comments

Friday, March 30, 2007

From the Sublime to the Ridiculous

This is going to be the year of Gigs. Last night we went to see Tinariwen at The Arches. Awesome, absolutely awesome. They have a sound that is just incredible, a look that almost requires a Kalashnikov as a fashion accessory. But its the sound most of all, a sweeping curling guitar blues with just a hint of desert. A beat that hypnotically calls the audience to sway in unison. A piercing ululating that brings a song to a frenzied crescendo. This was so good.

Labels: Gigs

posted by timesnewroman at 6:09 AM  

0 comments

Monday, March 19, 2007

The black remains for a day or two

Even the weather was shit. I expected some ribbing today at work, they were gentle for the most part. Then this afternoon I went into the tearoom to get some water and there's a woman there I've never clapped eyes on before. She's looking at the paper and asks me "Did Hibs win the Cup yesterday?" " I in turn ask her who put her up to asking me that question. I explain that in a workplace with about 300 people I'm probably the only Kilmarnock fan and she has to ask me! She apologises and tells me that she wasn't put up to it at all and that as a Welsh rugby fan she can commiserate with me.

Labels: I hate football

posted by timesnewroman at 6:11 PM  

1 comments

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Grand Day Out

At least we had Tapas and beer for lunch other than that, it wasn't a good day. Except for the half time kids teams running from the centre spot to shoot at keeper. Young Killie lad never let a ball past him. There's hope for the future!

Oh did I mention we were outplayed by a far better team on the day!

Labels: bad bad bad

posted by timesnewroman at 7:27 PM  

1 comments

Five things tagged

Damn, tagged by a Spanish Spy! Dark secrets he wants, dark secrets! Is suspect this is how Spanish spies gather information. I'll have to be careful and not reveal too much then.

1. My first job was as a trainee carpet salesman. I lasted 2 weeks, and was told I'd have to get my hair cut,(it was shoulder length) or find another job. I went out that lunchtime and found one as an apprentice electrician. I can't remember if I ever actually sold a carpet.

2. I used to be a member of the Resolutionary Socialist League which didn't exist, it was really just the Militant Tendency. That was when I was young and naive.

3. I once saw Adam Faith in the Hotel Inglaterra in Havana. I said to my friends "That guy looks like Adam Faith" They all said don't be daft what would Adam Faith be doing in a hotel in Cuba. When we got back home one of my friends phoned me to say he was watching a holiday programme with Adam Faith in Cuba.

4. When I was 14 I went to Glasgow with Dean Adamson. We stopped a man in the street and asked him how to get to Sauchiehall Street. He burst out laughing and instead of telling us, he stopped everyone else around telling them that these boys were looking for Sauchiehall Street. Humiliated in my first trip to the big city without adult accompaniment.

5. I once, briefly played in a band called In Prague with Reidski. Our solitary gig was as support to the Trashcan Sinatras, whose then drummer played for us. I use the term support loosely, We were first of about 8 bands. I broke a string in the first song.

So now who to tag? Let's see if Steve's up to it, and Jane and Gordon and Pam and Paul. There Tagged.

Labels: tagged

posted by timesnewroman at 10:21 AM  

4 comments

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Its going to be a Fine Day*

*Rolf Harris

Labels: tickets

posted by timesnewroman at 7:17 AM  

2 comments

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Anticipation

Decent crowd at Rugby Park today, almost 8,000 against Inverness Caley Thistle who brought very few fans with them at all. Perhaps the anticipation of next week's CIS Scottish Cup Final is responsible. The team is announced sadly to include stand in keeper Smith who frankly is not very good. Actually that's an understatement he's fucking shit and he's done it again, only this time he not only gives Caley a goal of a start, he waits until the outfield players play their socks off to go in 3 - 1 up at half time, before gifting a goal at the outset of the second half by standing in one spot at a corner. He's a liability and I sincerely hope that either Combe is back for the final next week or we are fucked.

Still at the end of the day we're probably safe in the top 6 and have a fabulous ditty by no less a star than this man to sing next week at Hampden!

Labels: Kilmarnock keeper Smith is a chube

posted by timesnewroman at 5:40 PM  

0 comments

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Information Overload

Bear with me, this is going to get complicated. Its 8:00pm last night thewife's upstairs in the bath and I'm watching Liverpool and Barca and the phone rings. I can't find the phone, its wireless and thewife used it last. By the time I track it down in the kitchen the caller has rung off. I do the 1471 bit and its Lady El so I call back, but it rings out and then the answering machine cuts in and I leave a message. A few minutes later mumsy is on the phone, she says that someone had phoned her to say that a window had been broken in our house and someone had been trying to get in. She had phoned Lady El looking for us, although we were in fact in. She couldn't say who called. At this point Lady El arrives at the door, practically with flashing blue light to say that mumsy had called her about our window having been broken and she thought she'd better come round to check. I'm confused as fuck by this point. I decide to go round to check mumsy's 1471 to see if I can find out who called her. I check the number and clock recognition. Its our number that phoned at 6:15. This is correct I remember thewife calling her to remind her to take medication. Mumsy is fine, had her dinner and her medication so reckon she's perhaps fallen a sleep and had a really vivid dream or something.

thewife is round at mumsy's today and notices that mumsy's downstair neighbour is out fixing a broken window. She asks him about it and relates the mumsy tale. He bursts out laughing. His window was apparently broken by someone attempting to enter lockfast premises as they say. He had called the police who made enquiries of the neighbours. Including mumsy. There was no phone call it was a young policemen who had spoken to her about the event. It wasn't our house it was her neighbour's. Apart form that she's not lost it completely.

Labels: Aaarghh

posted by timesnewroman at 5:56 PM  

1 comments

Monday, March 05, 2007

Aye Right

Taking the piss methinks.

Labels: Aaarghh

posted by timesnewroman at 7:37 PM  

1 comments

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Charlie's Face

Charlie's face was all swollen and we had to take him to the vet. Turns out its an abcess, probably from Charlie having been in a fight. Charlie had to have an operation and he's feeling very sore. He can't get out and he doesn't like it. He's wearing a lampshade and he doesn't like it. He can't really see where he's going, so he's started walking backwards. Poor Charlie. Cost us £70. Poor me!

Labels: bad bad bad

posted by timesnewroman at 2:51 PM  

1 comments

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Paris Je Taime

posted by timesnewroman at 11:24 AM  

4 comments

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

If anyone can Canon can part 2.

This was the reply from Canon to my letter of complaint re their missing ink.

Dear Customer,

Thank you for your recent enquiry regarding your Canon product.

Please be advised the Canon iP1200 printer is an entry level product. To help keep costs as low as possible the printer is supplied with a colour cartridge (most people do colour prints) and is indicated as having an optional black cartridge.

The contents is indicated on our website and on the packaging and this can be verified pre-sales with your chosen retailer or by calling our pre-sales line.


Yours sincerely,

Canon Support Centre

"Optional" he notices. Oops! This was my reply:

Dear Canon Helpdesk Folk

Thank you for your response. I now have to admit to being a total idiot. My upset at the lack of a black ink cartridge when I purchased the printer was because I couldn’t get the printer to work with only the colour cartridge loaded. I assumed it also require a black cartridge as well. Thanks to your response I have now discovered that in fact had I loaded the colour cartridge properly in the first place it would have worked fine. Boy do I feel slightly silly.

Regards,

PS It’s an extremely good printer for the money.

Labels: Numpty

posted by timesnewroman at 7:49 PM  

1 comments

Sunday, February 11, 2007

A wiff of something nefarious

Some days you have an inkling that all is not as it should be. I used to think that Dougie MacDonald, the referee with the extremely bad (Keane) musical taste I blogged about a few weeks ago was just typically incompetent along with all the other referees in Scottish Football. Grade 1 my arse. Anyways I was so so wrong. Many many times I have witnessed what seemed to be the worst display of refereeing I have ever encountered only to say the same thing a week or so later. This display though took the absolute biscuit. 3 penalties awarded, none of them conceivably justified, including ours, should you think this merely sour grapes. Decisions continually given to the blue weegies, it was blatant, blatant cheating. Bastards, and we were better than them too.

Labels: doodles

posted by timesnewroman at 5:04 PM  

1 comments

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Telesales

I heard this for the first time the other night, thought it was a hoot.

The daughter of a friend, lets call her Shaz, used to work for a US company in a call centre in Scotland selling insurance to Americans a few years ago. Apparently us Scots have a trustworthy accent and are probably as cheap to hire as Indian graduates.

Anyways, our Shaz is on the line looking to speak to Mr X. Mrs X explains that Mr. X has "gone to meet his maker" a euphemism lost on Shaz, who asks "when will he back? " "No" says Mrs X, "he's gone to meet his maker." "Yes" Shaz replies, "but when will he be back home?"

Oh how we laughed.

Labels: lazarus

posted by timesnewroman at 7:21 PM  

0 comments

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Con - If anyone can Canon can.

I bought a new Canon printer from PC World. I was astonished at how cheap it was. Only 25 quid. I know that the printers are sold deliberately cheap, with the big money being made on the consumable refills. I was gobsmacked though when I opened the box connected it up and discovered that it only came with a colour ink cartridge and that I would also need a black ink cartridge as well. Of course I wouldn't be able to get one at the time of night I had put it all together. Bastards. Next day of course I went out to get a black Ink cartidge. That'll be thirteen quid thank you. So really the printer cost nearer the forty quid mark which is what I was expecting. What kind of fucked up lame brain thinks this shit up?
posted by timesnewroman at 11:00 AM  

1 comments

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Ya Dancer!

Finalists!
posted by timesnewroman at 6:46 AM  

5 comments

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Pots and Kettles

Jimty was on the phone to youngest son. Youngest son wanted to have a friend stay over last night. Jimty tells youngest son that he can't have a friend stay over as his room is too untidy. In order to have firends stay over he will need to tidy his room, and he means really tidy it, not just put stuff in piles on the floor. Below are pictures of Jimty's desk. Enough said.

Labels: neatness

posted by timesnewroman at 12:21 PM  

3 comments

Friday, January 19, 2007

Ahhhhrgghhhhhh

Catastrophic computer disaster, lost everything, been crying but I'm okay now. If you read this send me an email with your email address as I've lost them all. Its still the same mynameas1wordall lowercase @omne.uk.net.

Normal service will be resumed eventually!

Labels: FUCK

posted by timesnewroman at 6:17 PM  

2 comments

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Sugar Plum Nazi

Its been a few weeks since the Guardian outed this clown. I was going to rant but never got round to it. Maybe the crass stupidity of someone with a Cuban Chinese partner being anti-immigration and a card carrying member of the BNP was a touch too much to take seriously. So serious I won't be.

Labels: doodles

posted by timesnewroman at 11:53 AM  

2 comments

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Difficulties with the parental unit

thewife was round at mumsy's doing various bits and pieces of work. She doesn't eat as well as she should and she needs a bit of prompting. Over the holiday period she's been getting up a bit later in the morning which in one respect is fine, however it does mean a late breakfast and the probability of a skipped lunch. thewife then has concocted a New Year regime, where she will phone mumsy at 9.30 am. get her up and get her to make her own breakfast. Day 1 thewife phones mumsy. She's already up, that's to spite you I say. thewife strolls round about 11.00am to discover mumsy hasn't had breakfast yet. She's been trying to hit the crab in her bed with a shoe. She knows its there she could feel it. Its only after the application of some logic that mumsy agrees there's probably no crab, that she may have been dreaming. We live near the sea, but a bit too far for a crab to walk from the beach to her flat, climb up the stairs and wait for her to open the door and sneak in without being seen.

Labels: bed crabs

posted by timesnewroman at 6:39 AM  

0 comments

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Manflu

thewife has been merrily suffering the flu since Wednesday. I thought that I wasn't going to catch it, having not come down with it before now. Sadly that wasn't the case and it beat me with a big stick this morning. Of course I have the more virulent Manflu version.

This might seem like a bad thing and it is, however it meant that I didn't go here to see this. That would have been a lot worse.

Then to compound matters Arsenal stuffed Liverpool. I wave to a happy man across the atlantic!

Labels: bad bad bad

posted by timesnewroman at 7:25 PM  

3 comments

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Quiet round here

I've almost come to the end of my Christmas New Year Holiday and have pretty much accomplished nothing. Well nothing apart from some culinary triumphs - I have found the perfect Daupinois potato recipe and it is simply fabulous, but thats another post another time.

Our only socialisation over the period was 1) a visit to Lady El, who fed us fabulous meatballs and pasta and an exquisite chocolate pudding. I repaid this by falling asleep and liberally dowsing her NEW suite with Port and Brandy (fortunately it was Scotchguarded) we haven't seen her since as she's been smitten by the bug that's doing the rounds, so I don't know if I'm forgiven yet. 2) New years day at Mumsy where I pigged out on home made steak pie with roast potatoes. 3) The Cooncillors Party, which was by his standards a fairly quiet affair, but gave me the opportunity to catch up on "Soccer" gossip with the manager of Burlington Barons.

thewife too has been laid low by the bug today, so she's pretty much spent it sleeping. I only hope she's recovered by tomorrow as we had plans.

Finally just to keep Reidski sweet, I have to mention his beloved hoopies' umpteenth consecutive victory over plucky, luckless, Killie. Actually I saw the second Celtic goal on tv and have to admit that although previously I thought our current keeper Smith was inept and was costing us at least a goal I game, I have now revised this assessment - the guy is A FUCKING USELESS TWAT!

Labels: Kilmarnock keeper Smith is a chube

posted by timesnewroman at 7:56 PM  

2 comments

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year

It seems strange, waking up on a New Year morning, the MORNING after Hogmanay. Normally, I only get to bed at some point in the morning, usually the worse for wear having traipsed around the town saying hi to strangers and generally celebrating the passing of the old year and the coming of the new. Stranger still was the remarkable clarity of the head and body. No sweeping nausea, no pounding headache, no horrible notion that a good bottle of malt whisky may well have been rendered empty on account of a) drinking lots of it and b) sharing it with all and sundry.

Nope, the weather put paid to all that. We normally have "the bells" at Mumsy's house before going off to visit friends. That was the plan. Mumsy is getting less and less enamoured with the whole things as the years go by and probably would rather go to her bed. As the wind and torrential rain got up, we thought about just staying at home. We phoned Mumsy who was more than happy with this arrangement. So we stayed in, watched telly, in comfort, had a glass or three of Laphroiag and then went to bed somewhere around 3.00am.
Oh and we enjoyed it. Happy New Year All.

Labels: sobriety

posted by timesnewroman at 3:33 PM  

3 comments