Stick with me, this might get confusing. I received 5 emails from a guy at work today, none of which he needed to send at all if he had only read an earlier email properly. This guy though used to be called Captain Chaos by our team, but after a number of years dealing with him on and off he has swiftly risen up through the ranks to become in turn, Major Catastrophy, General Mayhem and yesterday briefly Field Marshall Fuck-Up.

It started with an email from our solicitor to him that I was copied into asking for a copy of a lease that another dept. was sending to him by internal mail as they only had a hard copy. He was advised that this was happening by email by the person sending it. Our solicitor asked him to send a copy by fax to her as she was dealing with this. He replied in an incredibly spartan (for him) email, that I was dealing with this. I then sent him an email advising that I was, however as the lease was being sent to him, could he fax it to the solicitor. He replied saying that he would send it to me when it arrived. Solicitor emails him asking him to fax it to her, rather than wait for it going to him, him sending it to me and me sending it to the solicitor by internal mail to three locations across the city. He then replies that he didn't realise it wasn't an electronic version and agrees to fax it across to the solicitor on arrival. He then copies us all into an email to the person who had sent him the lease, asking him to send him the lease and by this time, I have overcome the frustration to become a large bundle of hysterical laughter tears streaming down my face. Moments later the final email arrived: "Leased Faxed to Solicitor 11:08 am." I was disappointed that it didn't conclude with "Mission Accomplished"

I said earlier he briefly became Field Marshall Fuck-Up because after today he has reached the zenith of his career and shall henceforth be known as the 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse. Everything he touches turns to shite.