Wednesday, December 31, 2003

It Don�t Come Easy

Good Rocking Johnny (Manuel) McSnoater
1950 something � 29th December 2003

Lady El said I should do this.

When I started this blogging lark I suppose I didn�t really have any idea of how long it would last, how serious it would become or how much of myself I was prepared to be out there for everyone to see. Its been around long enough to for me to know that there are no half measures, you have to put enough into it or its just not worth it.

I�m just in the process of going through a particularly shit day, with tears rolling down my cheeks as I write this. I have received the news that my very close friend Manuel, is dead. I�m still really struggling to come to terms with it. It was only a few nights ago that we were having a fabulous night in and now this, I wrote about it here. I am going through all sort of stuff in my head and I just want to numb it all and play loud music. I am currently playing a compilation that I made for him soon after I got broadband and a CD Writer, I emailed him requesting a list of songs that he would love to have on CD, but didn�t have. I made it and dropped it round it goes like this:

It Don't Come Easy, Ringo Starr et al, Concert for Bangladesh Madison Square
Gardens (Apple, I think...1971?)
Jailbait Wishbone Ash, Pilgrimage
Yours Is No Disgrace, Yes, The Yes Album
White Room, Wheels of Fire, The Cream
Green Manalishi, Fleetwood Mac
House of the KIng, Focus
Hocus Pocus, Focus
Sylvia, Focus
Dark Star, Grateful Dead
St. Stephen, Grateful Dead
Magic Carpet Ride, Steppenwolf
Midnight Rambler, The Rolling Stones (Get yer Ya ya's Out)
Happy, the Rolling Stones, Exile on Main Street
Locomotive Breath, Jethro Tull
Weaver's Answer, Family
Swifts and Swains, Amazing Blondell
Satisfaction, Blue Cheer

I first met Manuel at a Labour Party meeting, yeah we were young and idealists I guess in 1984. We kind of hit it off and he was a good contact to have for my then new job, we worked together at his office in Saltcoats, and he like helped a lot making the new job pretty successful. Lunchtimes we would hit Culliss� Amusements, he was one mean mutha on the Indiana Jones machine, kids would come from miles to watch him rack up a score in the bonus round the like of which was very rarely seen.

It�s the silly wee things you remember, like the day he was selling his Opel Kadet and gave me a lift home, stopped off to pick up something and I swear the mirror just came off in my hand��

He had just moved from Irvine to Stewarton when we started hanging out so to speak, which was a bit of a nuisance, but less trouble than the Nottingham, Coventry, Manchester, Inverness axis. Despite the distance we still kept up the friendship, Manuel would come up every Christmas stay at my flat and generally have a fun packed noisy time, catch gigs do fun stuff. When I think about it, it was Manuel who got me back into the habit of going to watch Killie again after a gap of many years.


I went my first holiday abroad with Manuel, to Paris. I should I say I met him there, he was already in France and we were to meet at a caf� next to a particular Metro station and I�m thinking at the time you better be there I can�t speak a word of French. It was brilliant, pure brilliant in so many ways, we ended up at a French Anti-Apartheid demo which was fabby, they can really demonstrate the French. Dancing across the street to the sound of Free Nelson Mandela outside the South African Embassy, traffic at a standstill and the CRS in full riot gear.

I remember when I first attached a modem to my Computer in 1992 and we played on Compuserve for a while I have never laughed so much at the antics of a randy dog (you had to be there) in a chat-room.

Even on such a ludicrous level Manuel was the most accomplished communicator I have ever known, he could speak to anyone on any level, I remember a tale of him being reduced to discussing Stars in their Eyes with a relative of a relative to break an uncomfortable silence in a hospital. He could do that.

When work took me down south occassionally I would regularly stay at his place in Coventry which I always looked forward to, immensely.

A bit of who you are is intertwined with who you know and who you choose to know. When I look around at my life and the really important standout bits, good and bad, Manuel was always there even though we lived far apart. New Jobs, Wedding, New Music, My fortieth birthday bash where he agreed to play in the rock band that I formed for the occasion as long as we did it properly. It was around that time that he and Lady El got together which was truly a wonderful thing. They both needed it and they both fitted so FUCKING well together. We did play the gig and by all accounts we were quite accomplished given the minimal rehearsal time. Apart from my wedding that was probably the most memorable night of my life and he enriched it so.

Not just the gig, my whole life.


posted by timesnewroman at 10:51 AM  

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Saturday, December 27, 2003

I was wrong to believe in the power of lucky pants. There is no earthly reason to believe that pants could influence the events on a football field, one way or tother. On another note, Scottish Referees, I know they are shite and I have seen some of the shittiest refs ever, but I really have to hand it to Kevin Toner. Could he be the world's worst?
posted by timesnewroman at 5:42 PM  

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Great start to the day, mumsy has phoned to say that she has successfully got out of her bed unassisted. Unfortunately thewife, who never gets a cold, has got a cold. We are going out as well tonight, Woody Christmas do, to which I am looking forward. However first things first I am sitting here waiting on me lift to the footie, I have got my (new) lucky pants on and we are going to stuff Dundee United. There, confidence or what.

posted by timesnewroman at 2:19 PM  

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Friday, December 26, 2003

Hectic hectic hectic. Chrissums eve saw thewife and I partake of a few snifters with Manuel and Lady El, who actually serves unpitted olives for horses douvres, I ask you. Anyway a jolly good time was had by all as I further spread the word of Phil Ochs, before spilling a quantity of red wine over his image on me tee-shirt. We righted many of world's wrongs, hatched a really cool plot for February and listened intently to Teenage Fan Club, which I managed to guess on first go after a couple of clues. Reminisced on Buffalo Tom, and generally caught up a bit. thewife dragged me home, after the wine incident, where the following morning I had a Christmas present of a hangover the like I have not suffered for many moons.

We were having mumsy round for dinner, but her back has been causing her pain recently and its worse this morning so we are going to transfer chrissums dinner round to hers. Which turns out really good. I have forsaken nut roast for an olivey garlicky goats cheese and leek tart which is really rather good. thewife and mumsy have chicken and we all drink wine, just a glass of Asti for mumsy though and I have Cava and a really nice red. Then home to fall asleep on the couch to watch About a Boy for the unpteenth time.


posted by timesnewroman at 3:39 PM  

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Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Right, 4 posts in one day thats a fucking lot and I am only doing this one cos of the two Golden Glorys, and a stiffish Cointreau and I'm celebrating the fact that I finally have an MOT. Out of the way, now I've just seen that really funny Ricky Tomlinson British Gas Ad, where he drags a bunch of trainees up into the most windswept weather beaten wilds of northern somewhere, only to explain that there is no reason for them being there because of papereless online meter reading and billing and I am juxtaposing this with the pathetic, second in a row Data Protection act excuse, from the same fucking thieving capitalist bastarding - whoaah boy - company who had to (How Reluctantly????) cut off the supply of an elderly couple who didn't (Weren't able to) pay their Gas Bill. Lets face it they were entirely reasonable about it, following all the procedures laid down , visiting them on a number of occasions as well as writing to them. Lets forget that they were good customers for nigh on 60 odd fucking years, but if you don't pay and you are vulnerable, poor, elderly folks then tough fucking luck. They died some time after being cut off. Good old British Gas managed to protect the couple's privacy by not informing the social services that the couple were indeed extremely vulnerable. Bastards passed it off as a Data Protection Act thing, a few days on from Humberside Police's even more pathetic excuse for not retaining and divulging information on Ian Huntley. Bollocks, loads of Fucking Bollocks. The only outcome of any investigation must be this - The Gas and other Utility Companies should be made to provide all frail, vulnerable people with free power. Consider it retribution for fucking up in the first place. That way someone who has worked all their days, fought in bloody wars, paid their bloody taxes, wont be impoverished and humiliated and killed by a bunch of greedy profit motivated scum. And Ricky, are you still working for these people?
posted by timesnewroman at 11:07 PM  

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the timesnewroman 1st annual festive quiz

A Year in the Death

1. Which Argentinian joined the Junta in the sky in January?
2. Which parentless six year old, died in February.
3. Which singer of �What do you want� died in March?
4. Who began losing an awful lot of weight in April?
5. Who was �touched� at the age of 84 in May?
6. Who swilled his final G&T and wrote his last Dear Bill letter in June?
7. Whose very deep voice was silenced in July?
8. Whose �wish� finally came true in August?
9. Which loathed film director, sentenced to 4 years in prison at Nuremberg, died in September aged 101?
10. Who was done in (not quietly) by his colleagues in October?
11. Whose hopes of visiting Portugal were dashed in Amsterdam?

Television

1 Who never won a Whacky Race?
2 Who Captained Fireball XL5
3.Who were Sabrina Duncan, Jill Munroe and Kelly Garrett?
4.Who Played Jack Regan and George Carter?
5.What took off Doctor Romano�s arm in E.R.?
6. Where did Mike Stone and Steve Lellor work?
7.What programme featured detective, McGarret and Williams?
8.In which T.V. programme would you have found Marshall Matt Dillon?
9.Who was raised in a Shaolin temple and went to America to find his father?
10.In which T.V. programe would you have found Nellie and Nels Olsen?

SPORT
1.Who won the 1936 Olympic 100 and 200 m sprint Gold Medals?
2.Who is the only boxer to have won 3 Olympic Gold medals in the same weight category?
3.Miguel Indurain is the first person to win what on 5 consecutive occasions?
4.In the 1952 Olympics in Helsinki, he won gold in the men�s 5,000 m, 10,000m and the marathon, a race he never before entered, who is he?
5.Who ran for Britain in the 1984 Olympics, but for South Africa in the 1992 Olympics?
6.What did Tommie Smith and John Carlos, the Gold and Bronze medal winners in the men�s 200 m sprint, do, to cause controversy at the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City.
7.Which Russian female gymnast won 3 gold medals, aged 17 at the 1972 Munich Olympics
8.Which American swimmer won a record 7 gold medals at the 1972 games?
9. In 1977, he won the World Cup 400-m hurdles beginning a string of 122 consecutive victories, he defeated all opponents until June 1987, who is he?
10. He won 5 Wimbledon men�s singles finals in succession from 76-80 who is he?

General Knowledge

1. What are the six categories of Nobel prize?
2. What is the Chemical Symbol Co?
3.Which wormwood based drink was banned for many years?
4.Which aperitif is white wine infused with herbs and sugar?
5.Who�s album was �This left feels right�?
6. Who wrote the book about the Highland Clearances that opened peoples eyes to the reality that it was ethnic cleansing?
7. What is the Chemical Symbol Cd
8. Whose 1983 hit was �What is love?�
9. Put these Ranks in Order of Senior to least Senior
Major, Colonel, Lieutenant, Brigadier
10. Whose 1986 Single was �Don�t leave me this way?�
11.Whose Album was Nine Lives?
12.What year was the Act of Union?

The general knowledge section was geared towards particular areas of knowledge of work colleagues, which says a lot about us I guess.

Oh and you are missing out on the music and picture rounds cos it would take me to long to sort it out, but if you could have guessed Simon Dupree and the Big Sound: Kites, then you would have done very well indeed and are older than I.

Answers on an email to times(remove-anti-spam)newroman@omne.uk.net. There is no fabby prize, but names will be illuminated in reverential terms on the blog. Oh and no surfin the net for answers, that would make you incredibly sad indeed.

Ready steady GO!

posted by timesnewroman at 3:16 PM  

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Weep ye some tears before I cause you pain with the timesnewroman 1st Annual Festive Quiz.

posted by timesnewroman at 3:05 PM  

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Should be at work and here I am blogging. Why, simple really. Took the motor for its MOT re-test and chap was just finishing off the test, checking brakes and he says that something has just gone in the brakes. I climb into seat, he raises ramp and I push brake pedal and its really soft, and he's saying that a pipe has burst and I'm thinking shit I could see that MOT certificate inches from my fingertips and now its gone. However I can apparently get it re-re-tested as long as it can be done today or tomorrow which might just be possible, but it mucks me about in terms of getting to work. I can get today off probably, to get it seen to, but tomorrow as well would be chancing it.

That and a three subsequent telephone calls, all with not very good news at all, sort of puts a dampener on things all round.

Quiz to follow.

posted by timesnewroman at 11:09 AM  

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Monday, December 22, 2003

Bluetealeaf, 18/12/03 pretty much sums up tonight for me. For added ggrrrr, checj the comments.
posted by timesnewroman at 11:23 PM  

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Sunday, December 21, 2003

thewife and I went out last night, something we rarely do on account of being frequently skint. That and the fact its chrissums and the MOT failure. Well what the hell, I work hard enough, no giggling there jimty, so off we went to the Harbour Arts Centre for Big Licks' annual festive gig. Pure 70s throwback with an excess of indulgence and three fine guitarists to boot. Most excellent it was too, from The Who, to Stevie Wonder via Deep Purple. Had a brief conversation with another fine guitarist, Paul of rock gods Spleen who is going to check out Phil Ochs, on account of my new advertising campaign tee-shirt.

Should be in a real belter of a mood as I have the motor back ready for its MOT re-test and at a price that's almost affordable. Then some dickhead leaves a note on my windscreen at Tescos calling me an "asshole" for my laissez faire approach to parking. Nothing, nothing gets to me like anonymous notes on my windscreen, like cos if I catch the bastard I will have to think REALLY Fluffy Clouds.

We are gonna have a quiz at work tomorrow and I'll put it up here as a festive treat shortly afterwards.
posted by timesnewroman at 8:29 PM  

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Saturday, December 20, 2003

All I want for Christmas is for Jim Jeffries to just fuck off somewhere, anywhere, but the vicinity of Rugby Park.
posted by timesnewroman at 8:32 PM  

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Thursday, December 18, 2003

On the busyometer today ranked busyish. First up the announcement of this year's Guardian Blog winners 1st prize for the proper category of best written as opposed to best designed, best by a bisexual teenager, best blog with photos and interactive sanskrit course goes to a London Call girl Belle Du Jour, with a creditable runner up in the form of Beyond Northern Iraq. Never having read either of them before I think the content, rather than the writing may well have influenced the panel somewhat here.

Second, secret Santa comes this way at the office, or in some cases it may be secret satan. Me I got a special mini disco kit. This could have been suitable for either a young child or someone who had a diva-esque Disco Parrot aka Conrad Cool. Speaking of secret Santa, we have been incredibly guilty of some kind of persecution, where PHEDRA was sort of forced into being Santa, he definitely didn't want to be Santa and we kind of left it there and agreed that uncle Joe would be Santa instead except he had to go elsewhere which left us in limbo. Step in PHEDRA, who has to have been the most convincing Santa in the history of Santas. The beard was good as was the patter. Our policy of last one in is Santa proved sound, although he was less than amused when we realised it was unlikely that the team would ever enlarge.

Third Mr Tweede. He spent the morning breakdancing. Unpc is Mr Tweede, and in the immortal words of the Who, I can't explain. We all, 6 of us, wore the t-shirt bearing the elf like image of Mr Tweede on a tee-shirt, they came from miles to see them, much as folks come from miles to see the Mr Tweede window treatment. We, Jimty and me, are dead. Still, how we laffed.


posted by timesnewroman at 11:49 PM  

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We had our team lunch the other day. It was excellent. Normally I really hate going out for meals at this time of year. The food is usually overpriced, reheated crap served in a not at all interested in you rush in the ambiance of a London Tube to Kings Cross in rush hour. We usually decide to hang off until January and go then, but we went on Tuesday instead. But it was excellent, well except for forgetting jimty's main course - but they were attentive and apologetic. - and didn't humiliate him too much either when he inadvertently was looking for two sweets. We had paid full price a few weeks in advance whilst booking, which along with choosing the particular date entitled us to a free bottle of very decent house wine for every 3 people. The food was by all reports fabulous, I had Roasted Goats Cheese on a salad with a really nice dressing, Wild Mushroom risotto with asparagus and of course the christmas pudding, washed down nicely with several glasses of red. So, a wee well deserved ad for Papingo, did I mention it was reasonably priced as well. We then headed to the nearby Pot Still, an establishment that jimty and myself sought out several years ago on a Christmas outing, under the mistaken notion that it was called the cask still. We never found it and it passed into mythology until this year, when we did find it. It has now passed into Legend. My god I did not realise that there were THAT many different Malt whiskys. This place had 3 sides of a vary large gantry adorned with what appeared to be some of the rarest looking bottles imaginable and these were not for show. I swear I saw the bartender climb and retrieve a bottle of some obscure 1930s golden nectar into a glass. It could well have been the very last glass of that distillation ever and here it was, history occurring in front of our very eyes. Of course he may well have had another bottle through the back. Me I had a pint of Deuchars which was very good, followed later by a couple of pints of Marston's Old Empire, the guest beer. We then went fairly soberly home. Except for the ladies in our midst who went on to party or whatever ladies do and it showed yesterday morning, particularly in the case of young R.

posted by timesnewroman at 6:56 AM  

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Monday, December 15, 2003

Looks like thewife is getting a nice set of subframe bushes for Christmas. Its not what she is expecting but they will come in useful.
posted by timesnewroman at 8:43 PM  

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Win one for the gipper.

So they finally "got him." What sort of an idiot is Paul Bremer and what sort of idiots is he pandering to? After a long time, they finally catch public enemy number one and the announcement of this is aimed at 12 year olds. thewife looked at the pictures and said he's been living rough. Hmm thewife can be astute.

On a more adult note, I Invented Chocolate Orange Pudding. Take one big bar of Green and Black's Dark Chocolate and melt it. Take the zest and the juice of an orange and put it in a pan with 2.5 tablespoons of sugar, bring to the boil and reduce until its a syrup. Heat 250ml double cream until its very hot but not boiling. Add the chocolate, the orange syrup and some Cointreau together stir and serve in small quantities. thewife and I had this much between us cos we were really greedy but its should serve four. Its very rich and tasty if you like that chocolatey orange sort of thing.
posted by timesnewroman at 6:19 AM  

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Friday, December 12, 2003

thewife is a dame indeed a large dame as it were. A damned fine performance of a not entirely traditional panto, but with all the elements of a traditional panto in there somewhere. The weans loved it as did the group of people with learning disabilities. To be honest I enjoyed watching other people enjoying themselves and being entertained by a bit of enthusiastic, honest toil.

The motor has failed its MOT. I was expecting this, but depending how much sub frame bushes cost, it may not be as sore as first imagined. We shall have to wait and see.

All weekend pretty much to myself and I decide to stay, drink booze watch telly and generally debauch.
posted by timesnewroman at 6:43 PM  

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Thursday, December 11, 2003

Exremely busy week. thewife is still heavily involved in Pantomiming which means I have to make my own dinner sometimes! That and iron, aren't I clever. Following the European demise of Glasgow's south western football team. The workplace yesterday was for the most part an office of muted celebration, muted not because followers of Glasgow's east end team don't indulge in Schadenfreude, no, merely that they don't do so prematurely. Today will be one of dissapointment for them and the bold Reidski, who may yet be able to partake of another European adventure given that the eastenders are heading eufa way.
posted by timesnewroman at 7:50 AM  

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Tuesday, December 09, 2003

I hate Mondays. I know that's hardly original, but I really hate Mondays. It's not about work, I'm perfectly happy to go there, okay I'd rather be living the life of an extremely rich person, but I'm not so I'll work. No I hate Mondays because all I seem to do on Monday nights is lie on the couch and fall asleep watching shite on the telly. Ineed to get a hobby. A proper hobby, not blogging. Well not just blogging. I think I may become a folk singer, I had a dream last night, where I was a folk singer. Maybe it was an omen.
posted by timesnewroman at 6:44 AM  

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Monday, December 08, 2003

Ever wanted firm proof about the existence of the and I mean THE most base stupidity on this or any other planet. Look no further than here. Yeah they are Amurrican, but we have them too. thewife in a previous life delivered 1 Ocean Levi and 1 Pocahontas, 1 Annette Curtain and had to explain to a mother that Chlamydia wasn't a real cool Greek name.
posted by timesnewroman at 6:40 AM  

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Sunday, December 07, 2003

Blogger down for a wee while, which was annoying. Stuff to do and no time to do it. thewife has been treading them boards the entire weekend. Hansel Village and a Nursing Home. Enjoyed by all watching. Me, I did guy stuff. Finally got round to doing my art piece. A Mondrian in bedroom colours and its pretty cool if I say so myself. I shall finish and hang it tomorrow. Its fucking huge actually, 2 metres x 1.5 metres, still if you are going to take up art, take it up big!


posted by timesnewroman at 10:53 PM  

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Christianity

posted by timesnewroman at 11:00 AM  

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Friday, December 05, 2003

BBC Scotland Blog Day today. Its my 15 minutes so to speak, only it won't be 15 minutes because its a half hour programme and there are 16 of us and well anyway its today and someone is bound to bring a radio into work and like where's my anonymity? thewife is phoning round people telling them to listen and I'm saying that you don't get Radio Scotland in Dublin unless you have a computer or cable tv.
posted by timesnewroman at 7:07 AM  

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Thursday, December 04, 2003

Diageo finally give up on their notion of trying to turn the malt whisky industry upside down with the introduction of Cardhu as a "pure malt" in the same bottle as that that was Cardhu the Single Malt. Pah there is Single Malt or blend and there is NOTHING in between! Apparently the Guardian thinks this is everything you need to know. Its not. You need to know what it tastes like as well.
posted by timesnewroman at 10:53 PM  

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Wednesday, December 03, 2003

I got a phone call at work on Monday from thewife. "What shirt are you wearing?" "Purple cord shirt." I say. "It's not ironed!" Says she. "It looked ironed." I reply. "Its not, your yellow shirt is hanging up ironed." "Hope no-one notices." I have to tell the colleagues though.

Yesterday. In at work and I notice a piece of paper in the shirt pocket. I take it out and read it. Its reads...Dear... this is an ironed shirt, love, the ironing fairy!

Brilliant photo in the Guardian today, Page 11, of a really flash loft apartment. As part of the sales pitch for advertising space in Inside Labour Magazine its touted to potential business advertisers as the kind of place young New Labour activists might live in. Indeed, which is probably why none of the sharp suited gits come round our council estates during elections any more.
posted by timesnewroman at 8:41 PM  

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Monday, December 01, 2003

See that bit about being really chuffed about fixing the motor yesterday, well I think some aspects of the ham fisted repair jobs may well have caused some kind of wiring problem, which resulted in head and tail lights failing on the way home, along with the heater blower. Resulting in numerous vehicles flashing all sort of lights at me on the M77. Finally it dawned on me that perhaps there was some problem with the motor, so I pull over to the hard shoulder and then I notice that there are no headlights. I call the RAC, just prior to the battery in my mobile running out, thankfully they came within 25 minutes and identified the problem immediately. Most excellent.
posted by timesnewroman at 8:18 PM  

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Nice to see the revelation of the true colours of Bliar's good friend and mucker Jose Maria Aznar. Makes it all so much clearer what sort of creepy bastards he likes around him.

posted by timesnewroman at 6:27 AM  

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