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Sunday, January 08, 2006

That Swedish Place and the Curious Case of the Yellow Hair

We were going to have fish for dinner last night, and a starter of either oysters or mussels, whatever was in stock. Our local Tesco's supermarket is bloody big, but they don't always have much in the line of fish, and as we'd left it late to head off, I thought we'd better head for Glasgow. thewife thoroughly agreed with this idea, particularly as there's a branch of that Swedish place nearby and she'd been pottering about with a measuring tape earlier in the morning.

We went to Sainsbury's in Braehead first, ostensibly for a couple of bits of Sea Bass and some or Mussels and emerged about an our later and sixty quid lighter with a joint of Lamb. How thefuck did that happen? That's before we got to that Swedish place where thewife was checking out a bed. We can't afford a bed says I. I can says thewife. She has some kind of strange independent income of which I know nothing. I suspect its Mumsy though.

We have a look and they have a sale on and they don't have it in stock, nor would it fit in, or on the car, even if they did have it. They'll charge fifty quid to deliver it which is ridiculous. We could hire a van for half that. I'll need to check out how big my mate's estate car is. It might fit in that, even if we have to open the packaging to get it in.

I woke up this morning (No its not a blues song) and whilst in the bathroom, doing bathroomy things, I noticed that there was a yellowish patch at the front of my hair. On closer inspection, its not just my hair its on my head as well and it doesn't rub off! Its very noticeable as my hair is grey or distinguished silver nowadays. It was once a fiery red, but those days are long gone. Question is what is it and how the hell did it get there? Has thewife being playing some practical joke to get back at me for sneaking up on her Cato-like, from the Pink Panther and giving her a fright (keeps her on her toes)? No she hasn't, as it turns out, besides she has to go out with me tonight. I did drink a reasonable amount of wine last night, but I am quite positive I wasn't drunk enough to do anything stupid. Eventually thewife adopts her sleuth persona and asks if I switched the fire and lamp off in the living room before retiring. I did, I said. She then pronounces that in doing so I have brushed my head against the pollen from the vase of oriental lilies on the table next to the switch. "That may not come off as easily as you think" she says. I'm off to have a bath for however long it takes.

posted by timesnewroman at 3:07 PM  


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