Saturday, April 03, 2004

Complaints, complaints. I have been absent from the keyboard because I have been busy doing stuff. Mumsy is about to get Gas Central Heating fitted. This means that all the carpets and all the furniture in her house has to be moved. It also means that her old storage radiators have to be ripped out and carried downstairs. This took two days holidays of hard work, admittedly one of which was with hangover, so it probably could have been done in less.

Midweek I was ready to rant about Tony "Berlusconi" Blair and the likely appointment of Peter " Guacamole" Mandelson as new D.G. of BBC. Okay it was the Guardian's April Fool's day joke and I fell for it. Well I could actually believe it! I was convinced it was the 1954 German World Cup Winners on performance enhancing drugs story to be honest.

Okay so you are still wondering why Peter "Guacamole" Mandelson? Reportedly true story that during the hustings in the 1997 election, Peter was doing the rounds of his working class northern constituency of Halifax, and where better for a photo-op than your typical chippy. Peter had fish and chips and on spying the mushy peas, apparently said "and I'll have a portion of your Guacamole as well."

Last night was work night out, very quiet affair indeed, numbers depleted through sickness, tiredness. JEM turned up, we saw her honest, out of taxi looking rather ......... pishhhed, straight downstairs to loos, then nothing. After a few minutes we sent in the search party and she was nowhere to be found. Jimty gets on mobile phone and discovers she is now in another taxi, on her way home because she couldn't find us. Hmm.

Then I'm asked by this Dutch bloke if I'm Scottish. Well spotted thinks me, pub in Glasgow, fair chance I am. I reply in the affirmative only to be asked if I knew who was the Celtic Goalkeeper in the 1970 European Cup final against Feyenoord. Look says I, I only do quizzes on Sundays. No I didn't, I admitted it, I owned up to being a Killie fan whereby he said that the small team fans were the real fans. I liked him already. I say I don't know who the Celtic keeper was, but I know a man who will. Introductions to Phedra who was perplexed. "Come on" says I, "you must know", of course several pints on his memory was slipping. Finally he says "Latchford". Then Dutch bloke says, "I think it was Williams." Fortuantely I had precisely 4 minutes to get the train, with the station 4 minutes away it was going to be tight but I did it. I also stayed awake the whole way home and astonished thewife with my state of relative sobriety upon uplift at Irvine Station.

I had to check the keeper out of course and it was indeed Williams. 1 point to the Dutchman. I do hope that one comes up one Sunday night.


posted by timesnewroman at 11:59 AM  

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